


Love isn't weakness (A Bellarke ff)

by CS_and_Bellarke



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Jealousy, Love Confessions, Multi, Seattle (briefly), Slow Burn, Smut, Vancouver, Washington
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:21:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 35
Words: 45,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25582780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CS_and_Bellarke/pseuds/CS_and_Bellarke
Summary: Love, love makes life look harder than it is or does it. If you think about it, love does nothing to life other than make you want it, life is a rollercoaster, ready for the ride?Clarke Griffin was trying to figure out how she ended up thinking she was in love. Finn Collins was the guy she thought she was in love with, but he broke her heart....Bellamy Blake was also trying to figure out how he could be so stupid for falling for someone so quickly. Gina was her name, the girl he thought he loved, but it didn't work out.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Octavia Blake/Lincoln
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	1. 1

**Clarke’s P.O.V**

I was walking home one night alone and I wanted to go anywhere but home, I saw a man alone. I was a little scared but I didn't run away, I just sat on the corner. “Hey princess, what are you doing alone?” the man I saw alone asks.

“Nothing, who are you?” I ask.

“I’m Bellamy, Bellamy Blake, and you are, Princess?” he asks.

“I’m Clarke, Clarke Griffin”

“What are you doing out here alone”

“I kind of just got out a relationship and I don’t really want to go home”

“Wait, do you go to Mount Weather?”

“Yeah, do you?” I asked him.

“Yeah, me and my sister, do you know Octavia?” he asks me.

“Yeah, we’re friends, but she never told me she had a brother”

“Well she does, how about I buy you some food and we can talk more.” That sounded amazing but I don’t want to spend his money and it is getting late.

“No it’s okay, it’s getting late anyway”

“Come on, please?” he asks.

“Okay fine” I give in. He took me to the pizzeria down the street from the corner we were at.

We are at the pizzeria and we are talking about random things like who we hate the most. “Okay, okay the girl I hate the most at mount weather is Echo, can’t stand her” I say.

“Really, I’m friends with her,” he says.

“Of course you are, who do you hate the most”

“That space-walker kid”

“Who?”

“Finn Collins”

“Oh, I hate him too”

“You okay”

“You know how I said I got out of a relationship, well Finn was the guy I was with and I found out he was cheating on me with one of my friends, I guess he told her we broke up and that's why she went out with him to, it ended tonight, then you found me, and here we are” I say.

“I’m sorry, I got out of a relationship too, do you know Gina?” he asks.

“Yeah”

“She was my girlfriend and she thought I have feelings for another, so she dumped me”

“Who does she think you have feelings for”

“I don’t know”

“Well I’m sorry, it’s getting late I should get home”

“I’ll walk you”

* * *

**(at my house)**

“Thank you for listening,” I say.

“Thank you for being my friend for the night,” he says.

“Who said it was for the night”

“Okay then, goodnight princess”

“Goodnight Bellamy”


	2. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you like it :) <3

  * **Bellamy’s P.O.V**



I never knew how much fun talking to my sister’s best friend was. I didn’t want Clarke to leave, but she was right, it was getting late, so I walked her home. We say our goodbyes and I go home to my sister and my sick mom.

“Hey Bell, where have you been?” Octavia asked when I walked in.

“Out why?” I asked.

“You met someone, who”

“If I tell you, do you promise not to freak out”

“Yes Bell, now spill”

“Clarke Griffin”

“My best friend?” she asks.

“Yeah” I say.

“Why”

“I found her sitting alone at a corner, so I walked up to her and we started talking, I took her to get food, and she told me about her break up and I told her about mine”

“Wait her and Finn broke up, and you and Gina” I nod and she gives me a look at me with a hug. “Thank you for looking out for her,” She says. I nod and I walk up stairs and I flop on my bed unable to get the Princess out of my head.

* * *

***next day before school***

I go over to Clarke’s house, I wait until she walks out her door then I press the horn. “Bellamy, what are you doing here” she asks.

“Want a ride” she nods and gets in, we then head to school. When we get to school I ask “what’s your first class”

“Trig, why”

“I’ll walk you, and I can also say hi to O”

“Okay, and thanks for the ride,” she says.

“No problem, want a ride home?” I ask.

“Can’t, I have to tutor some kids in ELA”

“Okay, do you want a ride to school in the morning”

“Sure, I’ll see you at lunch” I walk into the room and Octavia sees me then walks up to me.

“Are you seeing my best friend” she asks out of nowhere.

“No I’m not why?” I ask her.

“If you do and you hurt her, you will wish you were dead because I will not stand by and watch her get hurt again, and I don’t care if you’re my brother” she says and goes to sit next to Clarke. What she said got me thinking, she will kill me if I hurt Clarke and she is not kidding.


	3. Chapter 3

  * **Clarke’s P.O.V *at lunch***



I go to lunch and I sit next to Octavia and then Bellamy sits next to me. “Hey” he says.

“Hi,” I say back. I then notice Finn and Raven together, then I feel tears roll down my face.

“You okay” Bellamy asks when he sees my face, then he looks up and sees what I saw. “Hey, I’m sorry, but that proves my point to why I hate him” I laugh and I rest my head on his shoulder.

* * *

***next day***

I leave my house and Bellamy is there just like he said he would be. I get in and we start driving to the opposite way to school. “Where are we going” I asked him.

“You’ll see,” he says.

“We have school”

“Not today”

“Bellamy, we have to go to school, turn around...Bellamy!....turn around”

“You need to get out of your head, so no I’m not turning around” We sat in silence until we stopped and he got out of the car and opened my door.

“Where are we” I asked him.

“My hiding spot, I guess you could call it” he says.

“Why are we here and not at school”

“Like I said to get you out of your head”

“Fine, now what”

“Just look” I looked out into the view and it was so pretty and I just want to stay here forever. I didn’t want to leave, then I felt his hands on my waist and I smiled. “Feel better” he asks. I nod while still having my eyes closed and he still had his hands on my waist. “We should go and get some food”

“Okay” is all I said and we got in the car and went to the diner.

* * *

**Bellamy’s P.O.V** ***at the diner***

We arrive at the cliff and Clarke looks more relaxed, I’m glad I took her to my hiding spot. “You okay” I asked her.

“Yeah, thank you for taking me here, but I still think we should go to school,” she says.

“You will not shut up about that will you, can you just forget about school today, please”

“Fine, just for today, okay” we sat talking and eating then we went back to the mountain and sat up there for a bit.

* * *

**(3 hours later)**

We are still at the mountain (my hiding spot). I fell asleep against a tree and when I woke up Clarke was at the edge of the mountain. “What are you doing Princess” I asked her.

“Breathing in the fresh air” she says.

“Want to go back to town”

“Yes and no, but I guess we can”

“Okay, Did O text you”

“Yeah, she wants me to spend the night, I hope that's okay”

“Yeah of course, do you need to call your mom?” I asked her.

“No, let's just go,” she says.

“Okay” we left and went to my place where Octavia was waiting for us at the door.

“Where have you two been?” O starts to ask.

“Out” I tell her. She glares at me and looks over at Clarke.

“He got me out of my head for today,” Clarke says.

“Did you sleep with her?” Octavia asks me.

“No, I didn’t sleep with her,” I told her.

“Then where were you”

“We were out, now let's go and get food”

* * *

***later that night***

I sat up in bed, I couldn’t sleep, so I got out of bed and went to the kitchen. As I was walking toward the kitchen I saw Clarke in the living room. “What are you doing up, Princess?” I ask.

She looks up and says “I couldn’t sleep, you?”

“I couldn’t sleep either, are you okay”

“Yeah, just thinking, then O started kicking me”

“Of course she did, I’m sorry”

“Don’t be, what about you, why can’t you sleep”

“Thoughts keep racing in my head” I tell her.

She looks at me with those wonderful and beautiful blue eyes of her’s. She then looks away and I keep my eyes on her, I can’t...I can’t fall for my sister’s best friend...I can’t but I think I already have. She then clears her voice and asks “what kind of thoughts are running through your head”

“umm...I don’t...I can’t really explain what I was thinking but let’s just say that it gets people thinking and a lot of people would question why I am thinking it but I can’t help it” I try to explain to her.

“So you’re saying that it’s something that Octavia wouldn’t like”

“Yeah, she would kill me if she knew why I couldn’t sleep...what were you thinking about” 

“Well, everyone I’ve known has either left or completely stopped talking to me and umm...I was just think why, I was also thinking of something Octavia would kill me for, she just hates the idea of me getting close to you, she keeps saying that you would end up hurting me but I don’t see why she would think that of her own brother” she says.

“Yeah, it's because I’m known as a player and she would actually kill me to protect you and she won’t tell me why” I tell her.


	4. 4

  * **Clarke’s P.O.V**



Me and Bellamy were talking about why we couldn’t sleep, then it turned into why Octavia doesn’t want us to get close. Don’t get me wrong I love Octavia but I don’t why she doesn’t want me to get to know her brother, she says if I did then I would end up getting hurt. After she said that I couldn’t sleep, she then started to kick me in her sleep so I went to the living room. 

Bellamy told me that what he was thinking that wouldn’t let him sleep was something O would kill him for...my question is what was he thinking...because what was running through my head would make O kill me as well. I was thinking about Bellamy...I don’t know why, but ever since he came to me to make sure I was okay, and when he took me to his ‘hiding spot’ I’ve felt a connection to him. I can’t explain it but it was a feeling that I don’t want to go away. I feel safe with him but I don’t know him...all I know is that he is my best friend's brother. I can’t fall for my best friend’s brother...I can’t...but...I think I already have.

“Well, everyone I’ve known has either left or completely stopped talking to me and umm...I was just think why, I was also thinking of something Octavia would kill me for, she just hates the idea of me getting close to you, she keeps saying that you would end up hurting me but I don’t see why she would think that of her own brother” I say.

“Yeah, it's because I’m known as a player and she would actually kill me to protect you and she won’t tell me why” he says.

“I know why”

“Then why?”

“I’ve been hurt a lot in my life and when we became friends she said she would never let anything hurt again...she told me about you and I knew I wanted to meet you but she said it was a bad idea. She said it’s not about you it’s about you being a player, she loves you a lot and if it was different then she love us to get to know each other, but sadly it’s not, what’s going on between your family and Echo’s” 

“Before my dad left he made a deal with Echo’s family and we’ve been paying for it ever since, my father is not a good person and my mom raised me to be good and not be like my father, and I’ve tried to live by that but I think I’ve failed my mom”

“You didn’t fail your mom. You are a good person, and Echo’s family are just awful people, she’s hated me since we were young because I was in the gallery when her mom was on mom operating table watching her...her mom died on that table and she’s blamed me everyday for it. She does everything in her power to make my life a living hell, even though my mom left me and dad died on my birthday when I was 10” I tell him.

He looks at me and I can tell he feels bad but I don’t want him to at all, I don’t need pity or anyone feeling bad for me. His eyes were looking into mine and I couldn’t help but smile and so did he. “I’m sorry, I guess we both are in pretty deep in Echo and her family” he says.

“Don’t be sorry, and I guess we are,” I tell him. He goes to the kitchen and brings back junk food, with his free hand he takes mine and leads me to his room. “What are you doing?” I asked him.

“We are going to watch movies and eat junk food until we both fall asleep, and you are not going to say no because I know you have nothing better to do” He says.

“Fine but I’m not going to like it”

“Whatever you say Princess”

* * *

  
***the next morning***

When I got up the next morning Bellamy wasn’t in the room so I went to the living room. I was in the living room when I saw O and she didn’t look happy. “Hey O, what’s wrong?” I asked.

“Did you and Bell sleep together last night?” she asks.

“What?!? No, why would you think that”

“Because when I got up last night you weren’t in bed and when I went in the living room you weren’t in there, then I went to check Bell's room and there you were with watching a movie...so I need to know did you sleep with my brother”

“Octavia...I did not sleep with Bellamy, we both couldn’t sleep last night and we got to talking, then he grabbed a whole bunch of junk food and led me to his bedroom, then we watched a movie and I fell asleep, that’s all that happened” I tell her.

“Okay” she says and we eat breakfast. Bellamy came inside from the back yard and now I’m curious to what he was doing. “Morning Bell, what were you doing in the shed?” Octavia asked him.

“Finishing up some things, good morning Clarke” he says.

“Good morning...thanks for the talk last night,” I told him.

“Well, thank you as well”

“Anytime”

“You too”

Octavia gave us a look that was an unhappy one, she still thinks that Bellamy and I slept together...don’t get me wrong I don’t mind the idea but the truth is that we didn’t. O looks pissed, and I know it’s not about Echo because her and her family were on the news this morning and they got arrested. I love O like a sister but she needs to calm down...Bellamy and I are only friends.

“Are you sure you guys didn’t sleep together?” she asks. Here we go again.

“What if I did Octavia, what would you do about it?” Bellamy says...I can not believe he just said that. 

“So you did”

“No Octavia, we’ve been telling you since yesterday that we didn't, so stop asking” then he storms off.


	5. 5

  * **Octavia's P.O.V**



The reason I don’t want Bell and Clarke to become close or end up together isn’t because I’m afraid to lose her, it’s because I had a best friend that ended up dating Bellamy and then when they broke up she stopped being my friend and I don’t want that to happen. Yeah my brother has changed since then but I just can’t help but think it will happen again… after that happened I didn’t talk to my brother for a month and our mom told him it was his fault and he had to figure it out himself. 

“Bellamy, can I talk to you” I asked him after breakfast.

“Sure” we walk outside and then he says “what’s up”

“Do you have feelings for Clarke”

“Octavia…”

“Just answer the question truthfully please”

“I think so, but I don’t know for sure”

“You know why I don’t want you two together right?” I ask him.

“Is it because of Echo’s family?” he asks.

“No… remember Anya, you dated her and then you guys broke up and she stopped talking to me because I reminded her of you and I don’t want that to happen again. Clarke is my best friend and if she stopped talking to me, I don’t know what I would do if I lost her… so if you truly have feelings for her then I’ll let you be with her but you have to promise me that you will not hurt her like you did Anya please.”

“Okay...and I’ve changed since Anya and I would never do that to another girl, you know that”

We went back inside and I went to go talk to Clarke before Bellamy does. I grabbed Clarke and I ran to my room to talk to her. “Octavia what are you doing?” She asks.

“I need to talk to you,” I told her.

“What about, I need to get home”

“I know, but do you have feelings for my brother”

“What are you talking about”

“Just answer the question” I tell her.

“Octavia...fine I think I’m falling for him but I don’t know so…” she says.

“It’s okay, If you want to date him you can, but you have to promise me something” 

“What is it”

“If you guys end up dating and then it doesn’t work out promise me you will still talk to me, be friends with me, and not stop being friends with me because I remind you of Bell”

“I promise, I would never just stop being friends with you because of that...if someone did that then they are not a real friend and that is messed up” she tells me. “Did someone do that”

“Yeah, she and Bellamy dated and he was a player back then so when they broke up she said she didn’t want to be friends with me because I reminded her too much of Bell” I explain to her.

“I’m so sorry, but I have to go, you know how my foster mother is when I don’t show up within 24 hours” she says, I nod and she leaves.

I really want my brother and Clarke to be together because you can see the connection they have and I don’t want to be the one to get in the way of that, but I don’t want to lose my best friend even though she said she wouldn’t stop being my friend because I remind her of my brother if they broke up. 


	6. 6

  * **Clarke’s P.O.V**



I wonder who would stop being friends with O just because she reminded her of Bellamy...even if Bellamy and I were ever together and we broke up I would never stop talking to O because it wasn’t her fault it happened. I want to find out who this girl is and give her a piece of my mind about what a real friend is. 

When I get home, my foster mother starts yelling at me again...I just ignore her and go to my bed room, I live with a girl named Anya and her family until Murphy is 18 years of age. She doesn’t like me very much but I don’t care… I could care less, I go in my room and lay down for a bit. 

Someone from long ago told me love is a weakness and I have always stuck by that as I’ve grown up, that's why Bellamy and I will never happen...even if I want to, her name was Lexa and she was my sister but she died a couple years ago. 

* * *

  
**Bellamy’s P.O.V**

I now know why Octavia didn’t want me to get to know Clarke at first but after our talk I saw O grab Clarke and went into her bed room, when Clarke came out she ran out the door and disappeared without a trace. 

I know Clarke and her parents don’t get along great but I wonder why she never talks about them, and she is always hiding what she feels I’ve noticed but I have a way to maybe have her open up to me. I want to get to know her more before anything else happens. 

* * *

***next day at the docs***

I go to the docs and I see Clarke is there and Anya...Oh God No...how do they know each other...what the hell. Clarke sees me and comes up to me…”hey, what are you doing here?” she asks.

“Came to clear my mind, how do you know Anya?” I ask her.

“I’m staying with her family until Murphy is 18, she doesn’t like me but we were forced to come here together...how do you know her”

“When I was a player a few years ago she was the one I dated and she was also O’s best friend back then and…”

“She stopped being friends with O because she reminded her of you”

“Yeah”

“I’m going to kick her ass,” she says. 

“No, don’t it’s not worth it” I tell her.

“Want to get out of here”

“Sure” She goes to tell Anya that she is leaving and we went down to the outside mall just to walk around. 

“I knew Anya was not a nice person but how mean do you have to be to stop being friends with someone just because you dated their brother and it didn’t work out” Clarke out of nowhere says. 

“Yeah, well it was my fault, I hurt her and she took it out on O, that’s why O didn’t talk to me for a month” I told her.

“She did that”

“Yep, even my mom was on her side, she told me to do everything I can to make it up to Octavia so that's what I did, after she started talking to me again I told her I would never date one of her friends again”

“Wow, what did you have to do to get her to talk to you again”

“I have to drive her around until after high school”

“Well that will come in handy”

“Tell me something personal if you are okay with that”

* * *

  
**Clarke’s P.O.V**

“I hurt her and she took it out on O, that’s why O didn’t talk to me for a month” he says.

“She did that”

“Yep, even my mom was on her side, she told me to do everything I can to make it up to Octavia so that's what I did, after she started talking to me again I told her I would never date one of her friends again”

“Wow, what did you have to do to get her to talk to you again”

“I have to drive her around until after high school”

“Well that will come in handy”

“Tell me something personal if you are okay with that”

“Well when I was younger my aunt would tell me love was a weakness and I’ve lived by that ever since because every time I’ve tried to open up to love it tore me down more” I tell him.

“Have you thought that was just because you found the wrong person and it’s not love itself?” he asked.

“I don’t know, saying love is weakness has always been what I’ve done so opening up to saying love isn’t weakness to me that says ‘you’re being weak’ and I can’t because I know if I do I’ll get hurt again and I can’t go through that again”

“What happened between you and Space-walker” 

“A lot”


	7. 7

  * **Bellamy’s P.O.V**



“Well when I was younger my aunt would tell me love was a weakness and I’ve lived by that ever since because every time I’ve tried to open up to love it tore me down more” she says.

“Have you thought that was just because you found the wrong person and it’s not love itself?” I asked.

“I don’t know, saying love is weakness has always been what I’ve done so opening up to saying love isn’t weakness to me that says ‘you’re being weak’ and I can’t because I know if I do I’ll get hurt again and I can’t go through that again”

“What happened between you and Space-walker” 

“A lot”

“What do you mean?” I asked her.

“He wasn’t the nicest person in the world...he would tell me to do something and when I wouldn’t do it he would yell then when he found out that didn’t work anymore he started hitting” she says almost crying.

“He hit you” she nods then breaks down in tears. I pulled her close and put my chin on her head and said “It’s okay, he’s not around anymore” she hugged me and I hugged her back. “Can I ask you something?” I asked her, she nods and I continue. “Why were you with him in the first place”

“He asked me out when I was new here a couple years ago, everyone that became my friend told me to go for it… so I did… when we were out on our first date it didn’t end well and I wanted to stop seeing him but everyone kept saying it was one date to give him a chance. Our second date was better but I didn’t like him like that… until I started to fool myself into believing I did. A year goes by and he figures out yelling doesn’t work anymore and he starts hitting me… I was too afraid to leave him at first so I stayed with him for another year. Then the day you found me I finally wasn’t afraid to leave and when I did he hit me harder than he ever has and that's why I had a black eye. Murphy was there and he kicked his ass for me and I ran then you found me a half an hour later” she explains.

“Why don’t you go to the police about him”

“Because my foster father is the sheriff and I told him what happened then my foster mother said it my fault and he did nothing about it” 

“Why was Murphy there”

“He wouldn’t want me to tell you”

“Tell me what… you two are together or something” I ask.

“Gross, no!... fine I’ll tell you but it has to be between you and me only okay?” she asks. I nod and she continues “he’s my brother”

“He’s your what now”

“He’s my brother...my older brother by a year”

At that moment I couldn’t believe it...Murphy as in John Murphy has a little sister that I’m falling for. This can not be happening… he would kill me if he found out, we are friends and he can kick someone's ass very quickly...I might be stronger than him but he’d be kicking my ass because he wants to protect his little sister. We went to the diner and sat and talked while we ate, luckily it was Sunday so we didn’t have to worry about school until tomorrow. 

* * *

**Clarke’s P.O.V** ****

Bellamy and I have been talking for about 2 and a half hours and I couldn’t be happier but one thing kept running through my head...love is weakness… I tried to not think about it but I couldn’t help but think how cute and handsome Bellamy is.

“So do you want a ride to school tomorrow?” he asks me.

“I would love one thank you” I told him.

He walked me home but instead of going home we went to the park where I saw a huge grass hill and I ran to it a layed down. “What are you doing Princess” Bellamy asks me.

“Ever since I was about 8 I would love to go to the park and lay on hills like this because it only happened when me and Murphy were allowed to go out alone...but it’s also a sad memory because on my birthday when I turned 10 was the last day I saw my dad alive”

“I’m sorry, but you look so happy when you roll down the hill” 

“That’s because Murphy has made happier moments since then”

“Well that’s good”

“Yeah” 

We lay on the hill for an hour and then we realized that we were here for 2 and a half hours and it’s almost midnight and so he walks me home. I start to shiver and he gives me his jacket and what runs through my mind is how cliche this is. I just shrug it off and take it and put it around me… he smiles at me and I find myself blushing…’wait Clarke you know better...love is weakness, don’t give in’. We get to a house a few houses before mine and I can see Murphy with a pissed look on his face and so I stop Bellamy from walking any further. 

“What’s going on?” he asks.

“Murphy is pissed that I didn’t tell him where I was going and if he found out I was with you then he might kick your ass so...thanks for the day and thanks for dinner, I’ll see you tomorrow for school” I tell him and run off. 

I get to the door and Murphy is pissed and I know why. “Where the hell were you?” he asks.

“I was with a friend, don’t worry they walked me home and I was safe the whole time” I explained to him.

“Next time tell me when you go somewhere with someone, okay?”

“Yeah, but you weren’t at the docs when I left so I told Anya to tell you, she didn’t tell you did she”

“No she did not but it’s okay, all that matters is that you are safe...but why did you come home so late”

“Got...distracted” 

With that we went inside and went to bed, I had a good day with Bellamy but why couldn’t I get him out of my head. He is like a hamster running on a wheel in my head, he’s just there running and running and running in my head. When my head hit the pillow I felt sleep come over me and before I knew it I was asleep.

* * *

  
***Clarke’s Dream***

_I was running and I don’t know where but where ever I was going I knew I wasn’t going to get hurt. I see Octavia and the gang but no Bellamy...where is he...then I see him in the football field and I realize I was in gym class...great. I turn to the sidelines of the football field and I see none other than the queen bee herself...Echo, she's showing off and trying to make Bellamy fall for her (it’s not working)._

_Bellamy doesn’t like Echo and I know this because of what his father did before he left Bellamy and Octavia...anyway our eyes connect and he smiles and I feel my heart flutter and I don’t know why. The bell rings and I go to the bleachers where the gang is and the football players are still practicing and I find myself staring at Bellamy, I couldn’t take my eyes off of him because he was so memorizing. Then the coach blew the whistle and Bellamy, Murphy, Miller, Jackson, and Wells came over and sat on the bleachers with the rest of us. I then saw Finn come up with Raven and they sat next to Octavia while Bellamy sat next to me, I found myself leaning against him and resting my head on his shoulder then I closed my eyes. I guess everyday after football practice we all hang on the bleachers and talk and stuff, Octavia was talking about how excited she was for the Angels and Devils dance this Friday. Me personally...I don’t like dances but every time there is one Murphy and O make me go, I hate it but I go for them. As my eyes are closed I feel a hand on mine and I know it’s Bellamy...our hands intertwined and I feel myself blush._

_“So Clarke you are going to the dance right?” Octavia asks._

_“I don’t know, probably not, I don’t like dances. I only go for you and Murphy” I tell her._

_“You have to go...Bellamy going, right?” she asks Bellamy._

_“I don’t think so...I think Clarke and I will stay in and watch movies while you guys go to the dance” Bellamy says._

_“You really want to hang with me” I asked him._

_“Of course why wouldn’t I want to”_

_“Because I’m me”_

_“Exactly” We all go our separate ways and Bellamy and I go to his secret spot (the mountain) which kinda became our spot. We sit at the edge and I feel him put his arm around me and I lean into him. “When are we going to tell people?” he asks._

_“Tell people what?” I ask him back._

_“About us”_

_“You mean”_

_“That we finally got together yes”_

_“Right, didn’t I believe love was weakness”_

_“Yeah you did, but we spent one night talking and you changed the way you thought about it, you said that your aunt was heart broken and she was wrong to think that love will always bring you down” he says._

_“That makes sense, I guess it slipped my mind” I told him._

_We sat there and then his hand lightly touched my face and then our lips connected and I felt my heart on fire. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he pulled me closer to him as I moved closer to him as much as possible._

***end of dream* (alarm screaming at you to wake up)**

I woke up and all that hit my mind was ‘that was a dream...dammit’.


	8. 8

  * **Writer’s P.O.V**



When Clarke woke up from her dream at first she couldn’t believe that what she saw in her dream was a dream...she realized she wanted what her dream told her, and that her sister was wrong...love wasn’t weakness, not at all. Clarke got up and ready for school and then she heard Bellamy’s car horn so she went out the door as fast as she could.

“Good morning, princess” he says when he sees her.

“Good morning, did you just get here?” she asked him.

“No, I’ve been out here for about 20min”

“Why didn’t you text me...O did give you my number right?”

“No” so Clarke takes his phone and puts her number into it as does Bellamy with her phone but then he realizes that she already had his number. “How do you have my number?” he asks.

“Murphy” she says.

“Of course”

They leave but before they do Murphy sees Clarke in the front seat of Bellamy Blake’s truck and he is not happy. When Murphy first met Bellamy he warned him to stay away from the one blonde girl that will be around him all the time...and Bellamy listened... until now. Murphy is very protective when it comes to his sister so when he sees one of his closest friends hanging around her… he doesn’t take it well.

Bellamy and Clarke get to school and the gang is there waiting for Bellamy to arrive, they did expect Clarke to be in the front seat but they don’t ask questions about it...at least not yet. Raven, the girl that Finn cheated on her with and the woman Finn is still with sees her and doesn’t look happy that she is hanging around Bellamy, Raven is part of the gang and that is another reason Clarke hasn’t joined the gang is because they don’t get along that great. Clarke doesn’t know what her problem is with her other than she was the person in the way of her and Finn...well not anymore.

Clarke walks away from the group after saying hello to her friends that are in the gang...only a couple...Bellamy notices that she doesn’t want to be around so many people so she walks away. He follows her and in her mind she is asking why he is...she couldn’t get her dream out of her head and at the sametime she didn’t want to.

* * *

  
**Clarke’s P.O.V**

I walk away from the gang and Bellamy notices and he follows me and I don’t know why...one thing that is racing in my head is the dream I had last night. I think that's what I want but I’m too afraid to have.

“Princess, you okay” Bellamy asks me when he catches up with me.

“Yeah just overwhelmed, I don’t like people that much you know that” I tell him.

“I know, what's wrong between you and Raven”

“She doesn’t like me”

“Why”

“Because I was her lovers girlfriend and I was in the way of her plans so she doesn’t like me and seems like she doesn’t like me even more now because when she saw me with you she looked even more pissed” 

“Yeah, there’s a rumor that she has a thing for me...I don’t know...anyway it’s just a rumor so” he says.

“Wow, she gets my boyfriend and the friends what do I get...oh I know bullied by her” I say kinda under my breath.

“You’re bullied by her”

“She taunts me”

“That doesn’t sound like Raven”

“Have I ever lied to you, if you ask her she would lie about everything but I didn’t...I even told you about Murphy and me being siblings”

“I know...hey what happened last night, I saw Murphy on the porch waiting for you then you shooed me off before we got to the door...I get why you did but what happened?” he asks me while sitting next to me on the bleachers.

“He asked me where I was and I told him I was with a friend and not to worry, then he told me that Anya didn’t tell him where I was going when she said she would so that’s why he was worried then we went to bed...you left before he saw you...and I hope this morning he didn’t see me get in your car or he might kick your ass” I tell him.

“Lets just hope he didn’t, that’s all we can do, right?”

“Yeah”

The bell rings and I get up and walk to class, Octavia is in my first, third, and last period and I know she is going to ask me questions until I answer them for her. Don’t get me wrong I love O but she can be very irritating at times. I already can hear her asking if me and her brother are something yet even though I told her we were never going to happen.


	9. 9

  * **Bellamy’s P.O.V**



After the bell rings and Clarke walks away I go to my class which I have with Miller and Raven and I know they are going to ask questions...Out of Miller and Raven I trust Miller the most because we grew up right next to each other and we have been in every grade together since kindergarten. 

Anyway I just know if I don’t answer the questions they are going to ask they won’t stop asking until I do. I want to be with Clarke but I know she has trust issues and so I’m going to give her time and I’m going to try my damn hardest to make her fall in love with me. I know it's going to take some time but I’m willing to take the time...we still have the rest of this year and 1 more year of high school how hard can it be? 

* * *

***lunch***

Lunch rolls around and I look around for Clarke but I don’t see her, I see O walk in and she is with Lincoln but not Clarke. “O, where’s Clarke?” I asked her.

“I don’t know, I thought she was with you,” she says.

“Do you know where she could be?”

“Probably in the library”

“Okay thanks O” I ran over to the library where Clarke was with Monty and Jasper, “why are you here and not in the Cafe” I asked her.

“How did you find me?” she asks.

“You’re my sisters best friend it wasn’t that hard”

“You should go before Murphy comes in here and sees you talking to me”

“He can kiss my ass”

“Who can kiss your ass?” Murphy asks behind me.

“Miller, anyway I’ll tell O where you are” I say and leave

* * *

**Murphy’s P.O.V**

I knew Bellamy was lying but he didn’t show it, when I walked into the library I heard him talking to Clarke and I don’t like that he is. “What was he doing here” I asked Clarke.

“Octavia was looking for me and he found me and then you walked up” she says. I know she's lying but I let it slide. “I’m going to go, I’ll see you guys later” and she leaves.

I wonder what she is hiding from me.

* * *

**Clarke’s P.O.V**

I leave the library and go to the bleachers on the football field and load and behold Bellamy Fucking Blake is sitting there like a perfect angel...wait did I just think that...oh whatever. “Hey Princess” he says when he sees me.

“Hey...sorry about Murphy...I don’t know why he doesn’t want me to be around you” I tell him.

“I know why...” 

“Why?”

“I was a player when we met and he told me back then to stay away from you but since the day I found you on the curb alone I kinda haven’t been listening to that promise I made last year” 

“He told you to stay away from me?” I ask him.

“Yes because he knew that I would have affections for you” he says.

“Do you?”

“Yes I do...do you for me?”

“Maybe”

* * *

**Bellamy’s P.O.V**

“He told you to stay away from me?” she asks.

“Yes because he knew that I would have affections for you” I told her.

“Do you?”

“Yes I do...do you for me?”

“Maybe”

“Really, you have affections for me?” I ask her.

“Possibly, don’t let it go to your head” she says.

The bell rings and we go to our next class, we both have survival habits together so we walk together, Murphy is in the hallway we go down but I think at this point right now Clarke doesn’t care. When we get to class Octavia is already there and giving us that questioning look like she knows something we don’t, she comes up to Clarke and I with a big smile on her face.

“What is it O” I asked her.

“What's going on with you two?” she asks us.

“Nothing O, we are just hanging out, as friends” Clarke says...damn in the friend zone.


	10. 10

  * **Bellamy’s P.O.V**



After school I take Clarke to my secret spot and every time I take her there she seems more free. Every time I look at her I know I feel something for her, every time I hear her laugh it makes me smile, and every time she smiles I know how much I am falling for her. She looks so peaceful sitting at the edge of the cliff and I know that not a thing in the world that could harm her.

“You okay Princess” I asked her.

“Yeah, it's so peaceful out here, thanks for showing me this place” she says.

“Your very welcome and you are the only one who knows about this place not even Octavia knows about it”

“Really” 

“Yeah”

“Why, this place is beautiful and why not your sister”

“Because when I found this place it became mine and I didn’t want anyone to know about, and my sister would tell all her friends then it wouldn’t be my place… well our place now I guess” I explain to her.

“You really want to call it our place?” she asks.

“Yeah, why not?”

* * *

***couple hours later***

A couple hours later and we are still at the cliff, she has a smile on her face and I can’t take my eyes off of her, her smile is one of the most beautiful things i’ve ever seen. “Ready to go Princess?” 

“I guess, but I wish I could stay here forever,” she says.

“Yeah, well you can’t and if you are not home soon, Murphy will not be happy” 

“Yeah I know, how about I stay at your house tonight and I’ll tell Murphy I’m with Octavia so he doesn’t kick your ass” 

“If you want to but you know how O is when you don’t tell her your coming over”

“I know, but I don’t care” 

“Okay” 

* * *

  
**Clarke’s P.O.V**

“I’ll text him on the way to your place. Also, I never told you how sorry I am that your mom is in the hospital” I tell him.

“It’s not your fault , it’s okay, I hope she is going to be fine” he says.

  
**M= Murphy and C= Clarke**

**C- hey can I ask you something**

**M- yeah what’s up**

**C- is it okay with you if I stay at Octavia’s, I know that I don’t need your permission but I wanted it.**

**M- sure, but stay away from Bellamy Blake.**

**C- why?**

**M- because he is not a good person for you to be around.**

**C- like you?**

**M- shut up and stay away from him.**

After Murphy sent me the last text I started laughing at it and I know Bellamy was confused as to why I was. “What?” he asked.

“Murphy being Murphy” I say to him

“What did he say”

“He told me to stay away from you but I asked him why then he said because you’re not a good person for me to be hanging around then I told him like you… he then told me to shut up and stay away from you” 

“Wow”

“Yep” 

We arrive at his house and I go to his room to get changed into something more comfy to sleep in, I’m sleeping on the couch and O has no idea that I am here because she is with “friends” aka her boyfriend Lincoln (don’t tell Bellamy). Bellamy thinks that Lincoln is just Octavia’s friend but he asked her out a couple weeks ago and she said yes...he asked her out even though he was threatened not to...he didn’t care because he really likes Octavia.After I was done getting changed I went into the living room and sat by the window, Bellamy came into the room 5 minutes later and sat next to me. “Why are you not with O and the other girls?” he asks.

“Well Raven is there and she doesn’t really like me remember...and we are always around each other so…” I tell him.

“Okay...you can sleep in O’s room”

“Okay thank you, I would’ve been okay out here”

“No, she's not here so why not sleep in a real bed”

“Okay then”

Bellamy then goes to his room and I make myself some tea, after that I sit back at the window and think about how I can’t fall for Bellamy even though I kinda have. He is always flirting and I can’t help but smile at him because I don’t want it to stop but Love Is Weakness. 

I go to bed and I try to fall asleep but I can't because my mind keeps running and I keep thinking of Bellamy and his charming face. I look at the clock and I see that it is 11:35pm and I’m wide awake unable to sleep, tossing and turning and not able to fall asleep, I go to the living room and sit by the window again, looking at the stars.

1:00am and I’m still unable to sleep and I’m still sitting at the window looking at the stars, then I hear Bellamy’s door open but I don’t look up at all. “What are you doing up princess?” he asks when he sees me sitting by the window.

“Couldn’t sleep,” I tell him.

“Why not”

“Don’t know” I lie to him.

“Well do you want some tea?” he asks me.

“Sure, I would love some” About 10 minutes later he comes back with two mugs of tea and sits next to me, we sit in silence and then I feel him staring at me. “What?” I ask him.

“Nothing, just you look tired...why can’t you sleep and don’t tell me you don’t know, tell me the truth please” he says.

“Because of the dream I had the other night and I don’t want to have another one” 

“Was it a nightmare?”

“No, more like a dream I want to happen in real life but I’m too afraid of it because I don’t want to get hurt”

“Okay...well you need sleep so just remember it was dream most likely it won't happen but there is a chance it will”

“That’s what I’m afraid of...I don’t yet I do want it to happen...I don’t know what to do or think, yeah I get it, it was just a dream but it scares me and I don’t know what to do” I explain to him.

“I know what you should do...go to bed” he says.

“Fine, I’ll go to bed”

“Good” I go to bed and I end up having a dream.

* * *

***In dream***

_We sat there and then his hand lightly touched my face and then our lips connected and I felt my heart on fire. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he pulled me closer to him as I moved closer to him as much as possible. We pull apart and I smile at him, and he smiles at me then I lean against him._

_“I can’t believe it took me 2 months to get you to fall for me,” he says._

_“Can I tell you something?” I asked him, he nods and I continue “I fell for you the day I met you”_

_“Are you serious, I fell for you the day I saw you and it took me forever to come up to you, then our break ups happened and you were alone so...I came up to you”_

_“Your sweet, and we’ve been dating for 3 weeks and it's been the best 3 weeks ever and…”_

_“Are you breaking up with me?”_

_“No, no, no, no, I wanted to say I love you” I say really fast._

_“You what?” he asks._

_“I love you”_

_“I love you too, more than you know”_

_*later*_

_Bellamy and I were at his house lying on the couch and then Octavia comes in and her jaw drops and she’s speechless. “Are you two...to...together?” she somehow was able to ask._

_“Maybe?” Bellamy hesitates to say._

_“Are you okay?” I asked her._

_“Why have you never told me about this!” she starts to yell._

_This Is Not Good._

_Bellamy and I look at each other and then he speaks up. “We never told anyone because we didn’t or want anyone to know...we wanted just us and so we hid it from everyone...but I’m surprised no one knew because we didn’t exactly hide it” he says._

_“Well I’m your sister and she's my best friend, you should have told me about this” she says._

_“I’m standing right here” I say to her._

_“I know, please tell me why you didn’t tell me you were dating my brother”_

_“Because we didn’t want anyone to know so if we told you, you would have told everyone else then we would have been pissed at you”_

_“Why date my brother then?”_

_“I’m standing right here,” Bellamy says._

_“I’m dating your brother because I fell in love with him and everything is better when I am with him, you said you were okay if we saw each other so 2 months later he asked me and I said yes. Your brother is the best thing that’s happened to me and I don’t care if you don’t approve because I love him” I explain to her._

_She walks off and Bellamy gives me a look that says ‘what did you just do’ I shrug it off and go into the kitchen to get some food for Bell and I. “Why did you say all that to her?” he asks when I return._

_“Because she needed to know how I feel about you and why we hid it from everyone” I told him._

_“Is that how you really feel about me?”_

_“Why would I lie about that… of course that’s how I really feel about you, if it wasn’t I wouldn’t have said it”_

_*that night*_

_Bellamy and I were lying in bed when he climbed up on top of me and started kissing my neck, I didn't stop him and instead I took off his shirt and he pulled off mine. He gives me a look like he is asking for permission and I give him a look of saying it’s okay. Things started to heat up even more and quicker than anything. We were both naked and he dug into me, I tried to hold my moan in but I couldn’t and I let it out as he pushed harder into me._

_At this moment everything is perfect._

_At this moment nothing could be wrong._

_*even later that night*_

_After having sex with Bellamy, I laid there not wanting anything else to happen other then what we just did for the rest of my life...then it hit me...what will Murphy do when he finds out about me and Bellamy?_

***end of dream***

I wake up to my phone going off and the first thing that hits my mind is…’ I had dream sex with Bellamy’ shit.


	11. 11

  * **Bellamy’s P.O.V**



In the morning I wake up to the sound of Octavia trying to sneak in, I leave my room and when I see O I clear my voice and she jumps. “What the hell Bellamy?” she says.

“So where were you really last night?” I ask her.

“With Raven and Harper”

“No you weren't because Raven called me last night and asked if you were home”

“Damn it”

“Where were you?” I asked again.

“Out” she says.

“Octavia Blake, while mom is in the hospital I am your caretaker and I want to know where you were last night and why you are sneaking in so early in the morning”

“I was with Lincoln okay”

“Why”

“We went on a date and...by the time it was over I was so tired so I crashed at his place...nothing happened though” she explains. 

“Are you dating him?” I asked her.

“Yeah, please don’t go all protective big brother, I know you want to protect me but I really like him and I don’t want you to scare him off”

“I can’t promise anything, oh and Clarke is here sleeping in your room, she stayed last night”

“Did you…”

“No, but I woke up around 1:00am and she was out here in the living room looking out the window, she told me about a dream she had and how she was afraid that it would come true yet at the same time she wanted it to happen, so I told her to go bed”

“You are very sweet and thank you for telling her to go to bed, I’m going to go check on her”

* * *

  
**Octavia’s P.O.V**

I went to my room where I saw Clarke was half awake because her phone went off, I went over to her and sat on the bed and this woke her up all the way. “Hey, you’re home,” she says.

“Yeah, and Bell knows, Raven called and asked if I was home so he knew I wasn’t with them but he trusted and knew I would take care of myself so he didn’t freak out as much” I tell her.

“Well he never asked me but you know I probably would have told him if he was so worried about you”

“I know”

“Where’s Bellamy?” she asks.

“In the kitchen making food, it’s 10:45 so he should almost be done with breakfast” I tell her. She nods and goes into the bathroom to take a short shower and get dressed. I can tell just by the way she talks about my brother that she has feelings for him even if she doesn’t want to admit to herself. I go in the living room and Bellamy is in the kitchen doing god knows what and when Clarke comes out I saw his face light up like a christmas tree.

“Good morning Princess, you get any sleep” he asks her.

“Morning, umm… yeah a bit thanks” she says back trying to hide her blush.

From the time I met Clarke to when she met my brother she seems a bit happier but something is keeping her from showing him what she truly feels. I want her and my brother to be happy but I’m just afraid that what happened last time will happen again...but I hope it won’t.

* * *

**Clarke’s P.O.V**

I noticed Octavia watching me and Bellamy and I know what she's thinking, she wants to know why I don’t go for my chance at happiness but as I said before I can’t take that risk again...I can’t take the risk of getting my heart broken again because Love is Weakness. Don’t get me wrong I like Bellamy but he’s a player and that just means I’ll end up with my heart broken once again, Bellamy and I work as friends for now and I hope for a while. 

***in Clarke’s journal***

_Bellamy is a player which means that he goes from girl to girl to girl and doesn’t think of the consequences and that I will not be a part of. He is sweet now but once he gets what he wants he will treat me like the rest of the sluts he sleeps with, yeah I know calling all those girls sluts is mean but most of them are, there are some that aren't sluts and feel bad for them because they end up sleeping with him before making it official or talking about what will happen and they get their heart broken just like I did. One thing I did differently was I would talk to them before anything happened, I wouldn’t sleep with Finn and that’s one reason why he cheated on me, I am only in 11th grade I’m not ready for that...I’m only 16 years old...6 months younger than Bellamy. Bellamy was held back in school thats why he is in the same grade as me and O._

_I can’t be another one of those girls that falls for Bellamy Blake ends up sleeping with him and getting my heart broken. One thing that O told me about was that Bellamy lost his virginity this year at a party my brother hosted and part of me hates Murphy for it but the other part just wishes that he didn’t throw the party in the first place. Maybe just maybe if Murphy didn’t host that party Bellamy wouldn’t be a player right now, and I want to yell and blame my brother for what Bellamy became but I can’t because I think he would have become a player it’s just a coincidence it happened at the party my brother had._

_Lexa was right about everything and there is nothing I can do to let her know how sorry I am for not believing her sooner. After what happened with Finn I realized that she was right and I needed to listen to what she told me before she died. I am not taking a chance at having my heart broken again. Lexa was my older sister and when she died I stopped talking… to everyone, the day she died she told me to never fall in love because love was weakness and it will only end in heartbreak. Murphy is my brother yes but Lexa and Murphy are not siblings whatsoever._

_My mom had an affair with our neighbor and my dad fell in love with a woman and had a little girl but that was before I was born, same with the affair my mom had. My dad was in love with someone else before he met my mother and when he met my mother he fell for her, the other woman I guess died and my dad thought this was his last chance at happiness. 2 years after my mother and father married, my mother had an affair with the neighbor...his name was Kane. Marcus Kane. My mother then had a baby boy and my father thought it was his because he didn’t know about the affair until after I was born, I know my mom didn’t want me but my dad did and that's all I needed._

_When I was 6, Murphy was 7, and Lexa was 17...my dad died and I was there...we were on our way home when we got in an hit and run accident. I saw my dad take his last breath then everything went black, I was in the hospital for 2 months in a coma. The doctors thought at first there was a chance of me not waking up but then I did, one thing I didn’t mention is that my mother left when 5 so with no one to take care of me, me and Murphy went into foster care and we have not been separated yet._

_Lexa killed herself when I was 13 because the man she was in love with hurt her and she couldn’t live anymore... She was trying to get us out of foster care but sadly she failed because the court wouldn’t give it to her because of her drug problem. And all I can think about was that she was right and I should have listened to her when I had the chance the first time._

***end of the writing***

“What are you writing princess?” Bellamy asks when he sees me put my book down.

“The story of my life” I tell him.

“Is it for school”

“No, it’s too sad for that, but some of the things Murphy doesn’t even know about so…”

“Would you let me read it?”

“Maybe one day, I got to get home...I’ll see you later” I say and get up to leave.

“Yeah I’ll see you later” he says as I leave.


	12. 12

  * **Bellamy’s P.O.V**



“What are you writing princess?” I ask when I see her put her book down.

“The story of my life” she tells me.

“Is it for school”

“No, it’s too sad for that, but some of the things Murphy doesn’t even know about so…”

“Would you let me read it?”

“Maybe one day, I got to get home...I’ll see you later”she says and gets up to leave.

“Yeah I’ll see you later” I say as she leaves.

Something is going on with her and I want her to be able to come to me when she needs to talk to someone, I know she has been hurt by so many people in her life and I just want to be the one to hold her and make her believe that everything will be okay. I have deep feelings for Clarke and when O said that she didn’t mind if me and Clarke dated, I was happy and yet nothing has happened because I know if I asked her out she will say she is not ready to be in a relationship and to be honest neither am I. Of course I have feelings for her but only one person who knows is O and she just wants me to be happy, I was on the couch and the only thing that is on my mind is Clarke writing in that damn book. I’ve noticed that she takes that book everywhere she goes and she is always writing. I know it’s not a diary but it’s some kind of journal maybe about her life. 

One thing that confused me was why Murphy was everywhere Clarke was and why was he so protective of her. She is staying at Murphy’s because of the foster care she was in, maybe he is into her or something (I really hope not) but it’s weird that he is so protective of her. 

* * *

**Clarke’s P.O.V**

Bellamy keeps wanting to know what I have been writing in my book but if he knew what I was writing I think he would give me pity then hate me because I talked about him being a player and how I don’t want to get my heart broken. I do have feelings for Bellamy but I have to listen to Lexa and somehow make up how I treated her before she died, Love is weakness and I have to stick by having only one love in my life and that is the love I have for Murphy and only him. 

***in Clarke’s journal***

_Back to the fact of my feelings for Bellamy Blake and how I want to have him be with me and no one else. And I want to be able to tell him about my past and for him to understand that I am the way I am because of how I grew up, but I don’t want his pity and if he knows and doesn’t give me pity then maybe I can see a future with him._

_That will never happen but I wish it would...he’s a good friend and if he wasn’t a player then maybe he would be a good person for me to be with...just maybe. Being around him makes me happy and safe for some reason, having him around keeps me sane I guess you could say. Bellamy Blake is so sweet and kind to me and it makes me feel even more for him then I already do, I don’t know why he is sweet to me and kind and I just can’t be sure he won’t just want me because he thinks I can give him a good time._

_He can have anyone he wants and yet he is being so sweet to me and I didn’t even do anything to him for him to be nice or anything like that. Sometimes he confuses me as to what he wants or why he does some of the things he does, maybe I should talk to Octavia about it or maybe even Murphy because Murphy and Bellamy are like best friends. Bellamy is probably wondering why Murphy is so protective of me but there’s a reason why people don’t know Murphy is my brother, people don’t know because Murphy is not the best person so when it comes to the law so as to prevent people thinking I’ll do the same thing we didn’t tell people we were related._

_So when people see Murphy protecting me they think we are either together or sleeping together which is disgusting because he is MY BROTHER of all people...and I bet Bellamy thinks the same thing knowing him. Sitting alone at home gets people thinking that maybe there is more to life then what high school shows us and teaches us over the years...life is more about what they put in movies and what they say and teaches us in school no matter what grade you are in._

_I’m hoping that Bellamy will change within this last year of high school._

***End of the writing***

After writing what I’ve been feeling I chose to take a nap because writing made me tired, after about an hour and half of sleeping I got up and looked at my phone. I had 2 texts from Bellamy and 6 from Octavia.

(B=Bellamy, O=Octavia, C=Clarke)

B- hey I was wondering what you were up to.

B- tonight?

O- Clarke, Bellamy is being mean and won't tell me what's wrong with him

O- can you ask him what’s wrong with him?

O- Please.

O- CLARKE ANSWER ME PLZ.

O- I’m sorry for texting so much but Bell is pissing me off

O- help me.

After reading all of O’s texts I decided to call Bellamy to see why he was wondering what I was doing tonight. I have nothing to do like always so why not go somewhere with the one person I like hanging out with the most other than Octavia, don’t get me wrong I love hanging out with O but sometimes she is a little too much for me to handle within one week.


	13. 13

  * **Bellamy’s P.O.V**



I decided to see what Clarke was doing tonight because I was bored and I didn’t want to hang out with Octavia because I get tired of just hanging out with her all of the time. I texted her and then about an hour and a half later she called me.

* * *

***Ph** **one call***

“Hello”

“Hey Bellamy, I got your text and I’m not doing anything tonight but if you are just trying to get me to hang out with you so you don’t have to deal with O and you want to make me then I don’t want to do anything”

“Calm down Princess, I was just thinking we can go to the small carnival that just opened with me”

“Sure”

“Really?”

“Yeah, why not”

“Okay so I’ll pick you up around 6:30ish”

“Sounds good, I’ll see you then”

“See you”

***End of phone call***

* * *

I can’t believe she said she would hang out with me tonight...I know it’s not a date but I kinda wish it was, anyway I think one reason why she is still closed off is because she thinks I’m still a player. I stopped being a player when I got into a relationship with Gina...she thought I had feelings for another and that I didn’t love her (well I didn’t love her yet because it was too soon) so she dumped me. It hurt but I understood why I guessed and if she didn’t I wouldn’t be as close to Clarke as I am now, I have developed feelings for my little sister's best friend how messed up is that.

I really hope I can get Clarke to let her walls down for me but knowing her it’s going to be harder than I think. Octavia wants me to do whatever it takes because she thinks if I can bring down her walls then maybe her and O could be closer but I just don’t think that is going to happen, it’s 6:25pm and I know Clarke only lives about 5 to 10 minutes away.

* * *

**Clarke’s P.O.V**

Bellamy arrives at my house at 6:30pm on the dot and I was really surprised that he did in the first place. I open the front door to leave and that’s when Murphy stops me, why does he always have to do this when I want to go somewhere he just appears.

“Where are you going?” he asks me.

“Out” I tell him.

“I can see that, where that’s what I’m asking”

“I’m going out with Bellamy Blake okay?”

“With Bellamy, that 2 timing player...I told you to stay away from him all he will do is hurt you and I can’t let that happen”

“It’s not a date, we are just going to a carnival, I know he will hurt me so I’m fighting whatever I feeling for him okay...Now can I please go”

“Okay, but be careful”

“I will, love you”

“Love you too”

I get into the car and he drives, we are silent but I like the silence. It's peaceful. We are on the freeway and he hasn’t said a word to me but I don’t mind and at the same time I don’t want to talk because I’m afraid I’ll say something I’ll regret.

“What took you so long to get to the car?” Bellamy asks.

“Someone got in my way when I was going out the door,” I said to him.

“May I ask whom”

“No one important”

“I don’t believe you”

“You don’t have to”

“Well we are here, come on, lets go”

We leave the car and we start to walk in...all it was, was a small little carnival for either little kids or just some fun. Bellamy and I walk around and joke about everything we see or hear around us and it’s nice but I can’t fight the feelings I have for him for very much longer, everytime he says something or just smiles I can’t help but want to kiss him or jump his bones. He makes me happy but I can’t get hurt again, yeah I might be in high school but I have been through hell and some people might not believe that I have been through that but I have and no one really knows how much shit I have been through at all.

Today was one of the best days I’ve had in awhile and that is because of Bellamy, he made today better by just being who he is and I can’t thank him enough for it. He won me this little stuffed elephant that I love so much and by the time they closed we were tired and wanted to go home but I didn’t want to go home, I wanted to stay with him.

“Ready to go” he asks when we get back to the front gate.

“Yeah, but I don’t want to go home,” I tell him.

“Where do you want to go then”

“I don’t know, anywhere but home”

“Okay then”

We drive off and I have no idea where we are going and I don’t care, I know Murphy will be worried and be pissed when he finds out why I was out so long and why I didn’t go home when I told him I would be home by midnight. I just hope he doesn’t blame Bellamy for this because it was my idea to not go home and to go anywhere but home.

Before I knew it we were at Bellamy’s spot...well he liked to say it was our spot because he and I were the only ones who knew about it. Bellamy is so kind to me and it confuses me a lot because he is a player that only cared for himself...so I thought. We got out of the car and I ran to the edge and I think Bellamy was worried that I would fall because of how fast I ran up there, but I couldn’t help it. Standing at the edge made me feel alive, made me feel free for once in my life and I couldn’t get enough of the feeling it gave me, I then felt a pair of strong hands hit my lower back and all I wanted to do was melt into them. I felt so safe when I felt his hands anywhere on me even when it was just my hand, like earlier tonight we were walking around and I felt his hand over mine and without thinking I interlocked our fingers together as we walked. 

Bellamy pulled me closer to his chest and I knew I couldn’t hide my feelings for him anymore even though how many times I have told myself that Love was weakness it’s not working. “What are you thinking about Princess?” Bellamy asks me when he sees that I’m spacing out.

“Nothing, don’t worry about it” I tell him. He lets go of me and when he does all I want is to feel his touch once again but I know if I ask for it then something will go wrong. I can’t hide behind lies anymore, I keep telling myself that I can’t be falling in love with my best friend's brother but that is just lying to myself because the truth was that I was falling in love with Bellamy and I couldn’t stop it from happening.


	14. 14

  * **Bellamy’s P.O.V**



Clarke and I were at our spot and as soon as she was out of the car she ran as fast as she could to the edge of the cliff, I was worried that she ran a little too fast and she would slip off the edge but she didn’t and when I saw her face she looked so free. I walked up behind her and put my hands on her lower back and when I did that I felt her relax at my touch, I thought back to every time my skin touched her and how every time they touched she relaxed instantly. So when that happens it gives me a little hope that I can make her fall for me at one point, she is not like anyone I’ve ever met and I know that is cliché but it’s true, she is so sweet and kind but so quiet.

I saw her spacing out and I knew I couldn’t hide my feelings for her anymore “what you thinking about Princess” I asked her.

“Nothing, don't worry about it” she says. I let go of her and I went to sit against a tree, looked at me when I let her go and I knew that she was probably wondering why I let go of or why I put my hands on her back in the first place. “What’s wrong” she asks me when she sits next to me.

“Nothing...just thinking” I tell her.

“A penny for your thoughts”

“I’m thinking about you” I say before I even knew I said it.

“Why” she asked.

“I can’t get you out of my head”

“Why, I’m not special if anything I’m nothing”

“You’re not nothing...ever since I found you on that curb alone and we got to talking I haven’t been able to get you out of my head”

“Why me, you could have anyone...you probably have had everyone and I just can’t…”

“You still think I’m a player don’t you” I interrupt her. 

“Well aren't you” she asks, trying to hold back tears that were trying to come down her face.

“No, when I got into a relationship with Gina I stopped being a player because I wanted to better then that I don’t want to be that person anymore”

“Why should I believe you”

“You shouldn’t but I want you to...have I ever told you a lie”

“Well no but how do I know you aren’t just saying this” 

Instead of answering her I pulled her closer to me and put my lips on hers, for a moment she didn’t kiss back but then she did and the feeling I got was the best thing in the world. I tilt my head to deepen the kiss and then I swipe my tongue across her bottom lip asking for entrance and she gives it to me, the kiss lasts a few minutes then she pulls away.

“Bellamy…” she starts to say.

“What?” I ask.

“I can’t...I can’t get hurt again, and I know you’re going to say you won’t hurt me but the truth is that you don’t know if you are going to...please just don’t ruin this friendship we have please”

“Why do you think I will hurt you”

“I don’t think you will I just don’t want to be hurt and if something happen and most likely it will because we are in high school I don’t only lose a significant other I also lose a friend and I don’t want that to happen”

“I understand where you are coming from but if you don’t open up your heart again then how will you ever be happy with someone in the future”

“Someone once told me Love was weakness and I didn’t listen to her and after she died I still thought that she was wrong and then I got hurt so I need you to understand that I am not ready to give my heart to anyone and I don’t want to lose a friend” she says

“Your aunt” I say.

“Yeah…”

“Okay” We sat there quietly, I get why she doesn’t want to open her heart up and I get why she doesn’t want to with me but part of me just can’t help but feel hurt...maybe I was wrong about her liking me the way I do for her. “Do you want me to take you home?” I ask her.

“What time is it?” she asks me in return.

I look at my phone and it reads 1:45am “15 till 2:00am”

“Yeah I should get home before Murphy gets even more pissed than he already is”


	15. 15

  * **Clarke’s P.O.V**



Instead of answering me Bellamy pulls me closer to him and puts his lips on mine, for a moment I didn’t kiss back but then I did and the feeling I got was the best thing in the world. he tilted his head to deepen the kiss and then he swipes his tongue across my bottom lip asking for entrance and I give it to him, the kiss lasts a few minutes then I pulled away.

“Bellamy…” I started to say.

“What?” he asks.

“I can’t...I can’t get hurt again, and I know you’re going to say you won’t hurt me but the truth is that you don’t know if you are going to...please just don’t ruin this friendship we have please”

“Why do you think I will hurt you”

“I don’t think you will I just don’t want to be hurt and if something happen and most likely it will because we are in high school I don’t only lose a significant other I also lose a friend and I don’t want that to happen”

“I understand where you are coming from but if you don’t open up your heart again then how will you ever be happy with someone in the future”

“Someone once told me Love was weakness and I didn’t listen to her and after she died I still thought that she was wrong and then I got hurt so I need you to understand that I am not ready to give my heart to anyone and I don’t want to lose a friend” I say.

“Your aunt,” he says.

“Yeah…”

“Okay” We sat there quietly, I didn't know what to say at this moment and I was scared to say anything so I waited until he said something, I looked at his face and I knew I hurt him but I didn’t mean to. I just can’t get hurt or lose a friend and I just hope he understands that. “Do you want me to take you home?” he asks me.

“What time is it?” I ask him in return.

He looks at his phone then says “15 till 2:00am” that means it’s 1:45am.

“Yeah I should get home before Murphy gets even more pissed than he already is” I say before I realized what I said.

“Oh I forgot he was your brother”

“Yeah, now can you take me home?” I ask him.

“Yeah, of course come on”

* * *

**Bellamy’s P.O.V**

After I dropped Clarke back at home, I went home myself but when I got home Octavia was awake and waiting to interrogate me. Don’t get me wrong I love my sister but I hate it when she medals in my love life or sometimes my life in general, I tried to just walk straight to my room but she stopped me before I got there. “Where have you been Bellamy Blake!!” she yells.

“Out, now can I go?” I asked her.

“No, who were you with”

“How do you know I was with someone?”

“Because I know you and I heard you on the phone with someone right before you left,” she says.

“It doesn’t matter all that matters is that I’m home now” I tell her hoping she will leave me alone.

“You were with Clarke weren’t you”

“How the hell did you…”

“Because I know you having feelings for her”

“I kissed her”

“You kissed her, what happened, you seem sad”

“She kissed me back but then pulled away, and then she pretty much said that she wasn’t ready to be with anyone and that she didn’t want to wreck the friendship we have” I say trying not to break down.

“I’m sorry Bell, but she did just get out of a really bad relationship so I don’t blame her for wanting to wait” she says, wait did she say really bad relationship?

“What do you mean a really bad relationship?”

“She didn’t tell you...Finn used to hit her and he has tried to force her to sleep with him but luckily he didn’t get that far”

“What? Are you serious he tried to force her”

“Yeah, I’m surprised she didn’t tell you because of all the things you’ve talked about”

“It never came up, she told me about the hitting but that’s it”

Octavia finally let me go to bed and it’s about 2:45am, I go to bed but I can’t seem to fall asleep after what O told me. I can’t believe Clarke never told me about Finn tried to force her to sleep with him and now I have an even better reason to hate him and kick his ass, I have never liked spacewalker (Finn) and I never will, he has hurt many people and I know I was a player but the girls I slept with knew it was just sex and nothing else. Knowing that Clarke was hurt by him makes me want to kill him and she is not the only one I know he has hurt also my friend Raven witch I know Clarke knows her but they are not that close as far as I know.

* * *

**Clarke’s P.O.V**

Bellamy dropped me off and I kinda stayed outside for 15 minutes but then Murphy saw me through the window and I knew I was in trouble, oh I hope I can get out of this. He comes outside and practicly drags me inside and sits me down on the couch and he looks pissed, and I know I'm going to get a lecture from him.

“Where the hell were you!” he yells at me.

“Out, what's the big deal?” I ask him.

“Because it’s almost 2:00am and I told you to be home before 10:00pm”

“Your not my dad, I don’t have to listen to you, if I want to be out until 2:00am then I will, I know your worried about me and you care but you don’t have to be”

“Yes I do, you’re my baby sister and we are all each others got”

“No, you’re all I got but you have mom, the only reason I live here is because you forced her, she doesn’t care about me and neither does Kane, Kane’s only nice to me because of you. You are all I have left, my dad died right in front of me, you have people who want you and the only person who wants me is you”

“I’m sorry, but I’m always going to worry about you”

“I know but if I am out at 2:00am then you have to trust me that I’ll be responsible and I will make it home okay” I tell him almost crying.

“Okay, but you were out with Blake and I don’t trust him with you” he says trying to calm me down.

“I know and he’s not a player anymore and we did kiss but I’m not ready to date and I told him I didn’t want to mess up the friendship we have created”

“Okay but I don’t want him to hurt you”

“I know, and I love you for it but can I go to bed now please”

“Yeah, see you in morning or afternoon”


	16. 16

  * **Clarke’s P.O.V**



Today I’m hanging out with Octavia and I really don’t want to see Bellamy after what happened yesterday but O really wants to hang out and I really owe her a girl's day so I staying the night. I know I probably won’t be able to sleep but it’s for Octavia so I’m willing to do it for her, even if I really don’t want to but it does beat staying in a house where I’m only wanted by my brother.

I got to Bellamy’s and Octavia’s after school and the only one there was Bellamy...great, “hey, O will be here soon” he says when he sees me.

“I can come back” I say.

“Nonsense, she’s just out with her boyfriend, she should be home soon”

“I don’t want to impose, I can just come back”

“Stop it, just stay, it’s good to have someone around that I don’t want to kill”

“Well I’m glad I’m not one that you want to kill, how’s your mom?” 

“She’s doing okay but she’s not great”

“I’m sorry, when I met her she was very sweet” I say.

“Yeah she’s great, I just hope she can overcome this” he says to me while looking at the ground.

“I’m sure she will”

“Thanks”

Octavia then comes in with Lincoln and all I want to do is run away and never come back. She smiles at me and Lincoln then goes to talk to Bellamy, it’s weird between me and Bellamy and I wish it wasn’t but it is, but another thing I wish is that I could be with him.

“Hey sorry I wasn’t here when you got here, but Lincoln is staying for dinner and I hope you are okay with it” she says with the biggest smile on her face.

“Yeah, but can I talk to you about something serious?” I ask her.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“Can we go out back”

“Yeah come on” We go outside and we sit out on the chairs out there and she looks at me with worry in her eyes and curiosity. “What’s going on?” she asks.

“Don’t get me wrong, I love being here with you but being here with Bellamy after what happened last night it’s hard because I have deep, deep feelings for him and being around him makes me want to forget everything Lexa told me before she died. I don’t know what to do” I say trying not to cry.

“I understand, I can’t lose you as a friend…”

“What no, no, no, no I’m not going to stop being your friend, I’m just asking if you know what I should do”

“Oh thank god, I don’t know what you should do, I know Bell has feelings for you to and when he told me what happened last night he was crushed and I hate to see him like that but I also understand why you don’t want to be in the relationship, and why you don’t want to be with him”

“It’s not that I don’t want to be with him because I do but I don’t want to get hurt again and it’s high school anything can and could happen”

“You're right anything can happen, but I’m taking that chance in Lincoln and I think you can take that chance with my brother” she says looking hopeful.

“I don’t know Octavia, what happened with Finn…I just want to wait awhile, and I know I probably hurt him and I didn’t mean to but when we kissed my heart felt like it was going to explode and it scared me a lot” I tell her, then Lincoln comes out and says dinner is ready and we than head inside.

I was quiet the whole time and I felt Bellamy’s eyes on me the whole time and all I could hear was Octavia giggling at whatever Lincoln said to her. I wanted to yell or run out of the house but I didn’t for O and sometimes I really hate how much I am a good friend, Bellamy wouldn’t stop staring at me at all and it kinda pissed me off but at the same time I had to try not to blush when I noticed him doing it.

* * *

**Octavia’s P.O.V**

The whole time at dinner Bell and Clarke never said a word to each other or us, I didn’t know what was going on with Bell other than him being hurt. After dinner and Lincoln left I went to my room with Clarke and she still wasn’t talking and I’m kinda worried now about it because when we are alone we are always talking.

“You okay?” I asked her.

“yeah...I’m fine,” she says.

“What’s wrong”

“Nothing, I’m just tired...I’m going to go to bed if that’s okay”

“Yeah, um maybe we can spend this whole weekend together”

“Yeah, if it’s okay with Bellamy” she says.

“Okay, well get some sleep,” I tell her.

I go out to the living room where I find Bell is on the phone and he doesn't sound happy. “Okay...yeah...alright I’ll be there tomorrow...thank you” he says.

“Hey everything okay?” I asked him.

“Yeah, that was the hospital, mom wants to come home”

“But I thought…”

“Yeah, well she wants to be home”

“Okay, um is she coming home tomorrow”

“No monday, why”

“I was wondering if it was okay if Clarke stayed for the weekend?”

“I guess” he says.

“Hey, I know she hurt you but she’s just not ready and trust me she likes you a lot...she’s falling for you hard she just needs time” I tell him hoping he will believe me.

“Right, she falling in love with me and I’m rich”

“I’m serious Bell, she is falling for you hard”

“I’ll believe it when I hear it from her”

“Fine be a jackass, I know she hurt you but you don’t realize that by you acting like this hurts her too, you can be an ass for all I care and I am going to go to bed and leave you out here to think about what you want and what you need and what you need is to get your head out of your ass” I say to him and leave the room.


	17. 17

  * **Bellamy’s P.O.V**



“I was wondering if it was okay if Clarke stayed for the weekend?”

“I guess” I say.

“Hey, I know she hurt you but she’s just not ready and trust me she likes you a lot...she’s falling for you hard she just needs time” she tells me, like I’m going to believe that.

“Right, she falling in love with me and I’m rich”

“I’m serious Bell, she is falling for you hard”

“I’ll believe it when I hear it from her”

“Fine be a jackass, I know she hurt you but you don’t realize that by you acting like this hurts her too, you can be an ass for all I care and I am going to go to bed and leave you out here to think about what you want and what you need and what you need is to get your head out of your ass” she says and storms out of the room.

Maybe she’s right, well right about me being an asshole, it did hurt when she backed off but I should be nice because she did just get out of a bad relationship. She can’t be falling for me,Come on, it's me, but I know I’m in love with her and I want to be with her even if it is for a short time.

* * *

**Clarke’s P.O.V**

The last thing I heard Octavia say before she stormed into the room was her calling Bellamy an ass and told him to get his head out of his ass. About 2 hours later I was still awake and Octavia started kicking me and so I went into the living room where I found Bellamy on the couch running his hand through his heir like he was stressed about something.

“Hey, you okay?” I asked him

“Yeah, what are you doing up?” he asks me back.

“Couldn’t sleep, you?”

“My mom wants to come home and it feels like my world is falling apart”

“I think it’s great that your mom wants to come home but what do you mean about your world falling apart”

“I’m just stressed and my mom is still really sick and the hospital called me and told me to come in and talk to her tomorrow”

“Well I’m sorry, and I’m sorry about yesterday, I didn’t pull away because I don’t feel something for you because I do, I just got really scared”

“I understand, yeah it hurt but you just got out of a relationship and so did I, and right now we are in high school and you don’t believe in love so, it’s fine”

“It’s not that I don’t believe in love it’s just...when Lexa died I didn’t believe what she said and then Finn hurt me then I started to believed it...so if I don’t live by it I feel like I’m letting her down” I tell him while trying not to cry.

“Who’s Lexa?” he asks while putting his hand on mine.

“You know how I said my aunt said Love was weakness” he nods and wants me to continue “well she is not my aunt, she’s my sister”

“Wait so you’re saying Murphy has 2 sisters”

“No, well kinda but Lexa isn’t his sister, Anya is his half sister other than me. And before you ask Kane had another child after Murphy that is not my moms, also my foster family is my bio mom and her man slut and his daughter. Anyway Lexa was my dad’s first child and she killed herself when I was 13” I tell him while not looking at him.

“Hey I’m sorry and no wonder you don’t like going home” he says.

“Yeah, the only reason I live there is because of Murphy, he’s the only one who wants me” 

“I want you”

“Bell...you’re sweet but I…”

“I know but it’s true I want you and you think you're nothing when you are everything and people want you, me, Octavia, the gang, Murphy, and even your dad before he died. Just because your mom is a Bitch along with her man slut and his daughter, and even spacewalker doesn’t mean you are nothing and it doesn’t mean you are unwanted”

Before I could stop myself my lips were on his and a simple kiss turned into a passionate one very quickly, the kiss sent my bones on fire and I didn’t want to stop but I knew I had to so I pulled away. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have but no one has ever said something that sweet to me that is so untrue”

“You think it’s untrue really, do you want me to get everyone together and ask them because I will” he says with a pissed off face.

“No, but I feel like I’m nothing, I just think…”

“Stop it, please it breaks my heart when you say this about yourself” 

“Bellamy I don’t…” he stops me by kissing me and this time I don’t pull away. We kiss for a few minutes then he pulls away.

“You are not nothing, and I’m sorry about what happened with your family and if you need to get away you always have the Blake's, okay?” he says.

“Can I move in then” 

He laughs and I hug him not wanting to let go, he made me feel safe and he hugs me back, having his arms around me makes it harder for me to not jump his bones even though I have never had sex before. He just makes me want a future with him because he listens and he is so kind to me when he doesn’t have to be at all but he is. 

“Why are you being so nice to me, I’m your little sister's annoying best friend” I asked him.

“You're not annoying, you are like the only one I know that I don't want to kill, and I’ve been beating myself up for falling for my little sister’s best friend” he says.

“You didn’t answer my question, why are you being so nice to me”

“Because I can”

“That’s not an answer”

“Yes it is because I said so”

“Really?” I ask with a sarcastic look on my face.

“Yes” he says with a smile.

“I’m sorry about your mom”

“It’s fine, but I told her about you and she said that she remembers you and that you would be a perfect match for me”

“I hate to disappoint her”

“I have to see her tomorrow do you want to come with me, and yes Lincoln will be here tomorrow with O”

“In that case I would love to come”

We laugh about how much we hate it when Octavia is with Lincoln and how much we either want to kill them or ourselves. We talked for 2 and a half hours and when I looked at the time it was 3:30 in the morning, I can’t believe I have been talking to Bellamy Blake for 2 and a half hours straight, and I love talking to him, I also feel like I’m more best friends with him instead of O.

“We should get to bed, it’s 3:30am, and doesn’t feel like we are closer friends than me and Octavia?” I asked him.

“Sometimes, but don’t tell Octavia about that,” he says. “And your right we should get to bed, goodnight Princess”

“Goodnight Bell” 

He goes to his room and I fall asleep on the couch and when I woke up Bellamy was in the kitchen making food. It was 11:30am and I can’t believe he is up and making food for me and Octavia, he is so amazing and it’s really hard to just be friends with him.


	18. 18

  * **Bellamy’s P.O.V**



Last night I stayed up talking to Clarke for 2 and a half hours and I didn’t end up going to bed until around 3:30am, me and her talked about her family and she told me about her sister and how Anya was Murphy’s sister and how much everyone in the house except the adults hate her and everything like that. I woke up around 11:00am and started making food and about a half an hour later I saw Clarke wake up, she is so beautiful and talking to her made me happy but just being friends with her is killing me. 

She gets up and smiles then she disappears into O’s bedroom, I want to be with her but there is no way I can, 12th grade is coming up because it’s almost May and that is also Clarke’s birthday month. I got her a bracelet with her name on it and I hope she likes it, it would mean that she has something I gave her which would make me really happy. 

She and Octavia come out of Octavia’s room and all I can do is smile at Clarke because she is happy at the moment and that’s a good thing. After Clarke’s and I’s talk last night, seeing her smile makes me happy for her and I always want to see that smile on her face and when it’s not there then I want to be the one to hold her and tell her everything is going to be okay and to make her smile. She needs some happiness in her life and I wish I could give her some of that happiness but I know she is not ready for that and I’m willing to wait.

We all eat and now that Lincoln is here, Clarke and I are on our way to the hospital to see my mom and try to convince my mom to stay there until she is better and hopefully she will listen to me. “You ready to see my mom” I asked Clarke as I parked the car.

“Yeah, the last time I saw her was before she went to the hospital last year” she says with a smile.

“Okay. let's go” We went in and I took Clarke down to my mom’s room and there was my mom sitting on the bed watching tv and hooked up to tubes and wires. “Here we are, you sure you want to come in” I ask her.

“Yeah, I would love to see and talk to her again” 

“Really, you sure”

“Yes, now come on, she’s waiting”

“Okay” we walk in and my mom’s face lights up with joy. “Hey mom”

“Hey my baby boy, and hello Clarke, I haven’t seen you in forever” my mom says to her.

“Hey, yeah...how have you been” Clarke asks her.

“In bed with cancer, but other I’m okay, so Bellamy are you taking me home today”

“No mom, you need to stay here until you get better, I know I’m not 18 and I can’t tell you what to do but if you come home you’re just going to get worse” 

“Bell, I’m tired...I can’t fight anymore, I want to come home and be your mom for as long as I can” she says.

“No mom, please fight you can beat this, they're trying a new drug that has had success on you next week, so please just keep fighting a little longer” I say trying not to break down. 

“Okay, O will for you and O...anyway Clarke are you finally dating my son”

“Um...no we’re just friends, but someday he will find someone who will be the luckiest gal in the world” Clarke says to my mother...did I just hear that right.

“You're right or maybe he has found her,” my mom says.

“What are you talking about mom?” I ask her.

“Nothing, can I talk to Clarke alone please”

“Umm, sure I guess” 

I left the room and all I could wonder is why she wanted me to leave so she could talk to Clarke, I hope she doesn’t try to hook me and her up.

* * *

**Clarke’s P.O.V**

“Bell, I’m tired...I can’t fight anymore, I want to come home and be your mom for as long as I can,” Aurora says to Bell.

“No mom, please fight you can beat this, they're trying a new drug that has had success on you next week, so please just keep fighting a little longer” he says trying not to break down. 

“Okay, O will for you and O...anyway Clarke are you finally dating my son”

“Um...no we’re just friends, but someday he will find someone who will be the luckiest gal in the world” I say trying not to blush.

“You're right or maybe he has found her,” my mom says.

“What are you talking about mom?” Bellamy asks her.

“Nothing, can I talk to Clarke alone please”

“Umm, sure I guess” he says and leaves.

I don’t know what to do but then she pats her bed and so I sit next to her, where is this going? “Why are you and my son not dating, because the last time I saw you, you never met him but knew you would hate him...now that you met him you two are very nice to each other what happened”

“Well I dated this guy who hurt me and Murphy kicked his ass, and Bellamy found me on a curb crying, and he made up this nickname for me in the process. Anyway he bought me dinner and we talked, he also went out of a relationship and we became friends and we talked a lot about a lot of different things” I explained to her.

“Wow, but I can tell you have feelings for him”

“How did you-”

“It’s the way you look at him, the same way I looked at Bellamy’s dad before he left”

“Oh, but I’m not ready to be with anyone right now”

“And that’s okay, have you guys ever-”

“Oh god no, we kissed a couple times but twice I pulled away and once he did”

“You didn’t let me finish, I was going to only ask if you guys ever kissed but now I know”

“Aurora, what should I do...every time I see him and I can’t be with him kills me but every time I get close I get scared” I asked her.

“You just need some time, keep talking to him and being friends with him and if you’re both single when you are ready then try to make something happen with him” she says giving me a smile. “We should get Bell back in here before he thinks we are talking for him”

“Knowing him, he already thinks that, but yes we should”

“Can you go get him”

“Yeah” I left the room and ran right into him not watching where I was going. “Oh I’m sorry” he doesn’t say anything, he just lifts my chin and kisses me.

“I’m sorry I just had to,” he says.

“Don’t be, um but your mom wants you back in there and is it okay if I wait in the car” 

“Yeah, here’s the keys just don’t leave me here”

“I won’t” I say and walk out to the car. I can not believe that he kissed me and I didn’t pull away and neither did he but I’m not ready to be with anyone even if I want to.

* * *

**Bellamy’s P.O.V**

Clarke leaves my mom's room and doesn’t look where she is going and runs right into me and says “Oh I’m sorry” I don’t say anything back I just lift her chin and kiss her.

“I’m sorry I just had to,” I say to her.

“Don’t be, um but your mom wants you back in there and is it okay if I wait in the car” 

“Yeah, here’s the keys just don’t leave me here”

“I won’t”

She leaves and I go into my mom’s room to see how long I have to be here. “Hey mom,” I say to her.

“Hey my baby boy, where’s Clarke?” she asks.

“She’s waiting in the car, anyway what did you two talk about”

“Just girl stuff, why is she in the car”

“Okay first of all ‘just girl stuff’ is code for talking about me and she’s in the car because I kissed her”

“You did what”

“I kissed her and I don’t know what to do”

“You really like her don’t you?” my mom asks.

“I’m falling in love with her mom” I tell her.

“Have you told her that?”

“No but I did tell her I have feelings for her and she said she had them for me but she’s just not ready”

“Good, just give her time, all you can be is her friend and when she’s ready and if you’re both single then make something happen”

“Thanks mom, I’m going to go home and make sure Octavia isn’t having sex with her boyfriend” I tell her.

“Octavia has a boyfriend?” she asks.

“Yeah, anyway I love you and I’ll see you later”

“Okay I love you too my baby boy”


	19. 19

  * **Clarke’s P.O.V *5 years later***



It’s been 4 years since I last saw Bellamy Blake and I do miss him, me and O went to the same college, Murphy went to the police academy right next to our college. What I heard from Octavia is that Bellamy went to the police academy in our hometown, I’m happy for him. I also know that he has a girlfriend but O wont tell me who it is, I am really pissed at her. We are graduating next week and we are going back to our hometown where I get to see Bellamy and his slut I mean _girlfriend_ , and I get to be an art teacher for my old high school. 

Octavia is going to be a lawyer so she is going to law school in our hometown, Murphy is going to be working with Bellamy. As for the pot heads (Jasper and Monty) have opened a bar and weed farm, and Monty is getting married and having a baby. The last 4 years have been okay, the last year of high school was rocky, Bellamy and I just slowly stopped talking and I didn’t really end up talking to anyone other than my friends and my brother during school. 

“Hey Clarke are you sure you want to go back to our hometown?” Octavia asks me.

“O if this is another way to try to get me not to know who Bellamy’s girlfriend is, it’s not working, and of course I want to go home. I grew up there even though it wasn’t the best I still grew up there” I tell her.

“Okay, you still want to know who he is dating, don’t you”

“Of course, I’m a curious person but if you tell me it’s Echo then I am seriously going to kill him”

“Well…”

“Are you serious, the one person that almost everyone I knew hated, he is dating”

“Yeah, I guess she became nicer and they hit it off, are you mad”

“I’m not mad, it’s just I have never gotten over him, we just stopped talking and when we did it hurt but I went with it because I thought that’s what he wanted”

“Are kidding, he thought that’s what you wanted so that’s what he did”

“Wow” 

I don’t know what to do anymore, he is with Echo and he stopped talking to me because that’s what he thought I wanted, I can’t believe it. Only if I got over what happened with Finn sooner then maybe but I didn’t when I had a chance with Bellamy and so he went with the first person he saw and it hurts to think that she got him in the long run. She would tell me to stay away from Bellamy and when I wouldn’t she would tell me that she would have him one way or another even if it was the last thing she did in high school. 

Octavia left with Lincoln and I was in our apartment alone with my thoughts, thinking of them together makes my skin crawl. He would always tell me that he would never date her because she was his friend and he just didn’t see her in that way, so either he lied or because I couldn’t be with him at the time he just settled, but I think he lied. I think he lied because he didn’t want me to get angry at him because he knew me and Echo hated each other’s guts. I’m surprised he is with her because of the shit his father had with her and her family but he told O that he took care of it and paid everything his father owed them.

Aurora Blake did get better and she is living with Bellamy, one thing I don’t know is if Octavia is going to move in with him or me, she told me that she was thinking of going to live with her brother because she missed him. I just hope we get a place together and so I won’t be alone, well I could get a place with Murphy. 

* * *

**Bellamy’s P.O.V**

It’s been 4 years since O went to college and in a week I am going to where she is at to see her graduate, so is my mom, she is coming with me. My mom got better and is living with me because she doesn’t want to live alone, Octavia may or may not be living with me and our mom, I just hope that she does because I have missed her so much. Yeah I would see her on breaks and holidays but it’s not the same as it was in high school.

It’s also been 4 years since I saw and talked to Clarke Griffin, in our last year of high school we just slowly stopped talking to each other, I thought that’s what she wanted so we just didn’t talk anymore. My mom thinks I should get back in contact with Clarke but I just don’t know, the last time I saw her she didn’t look too happy with me so I don’t think she wants to talk to me at all. 

Yeah it’s been a few years but I don’t know, O won’t tell me what’s going to happen when she comes back to this wonderful town. I love her but I would like to know what is going on, she won’t tell me if Clarke is coming back or not or what’s going to happen, I will go out where she is at for her graduation then I will come home and Octavia will fly back home a week later so in 2 weeks my little sister will be home with me and our mom.

I am working at the police department and I moved on from my feeling that I had for Clarke...well mostly, I have a girlfriend and everything is great for the most part. When O found out who my girlfriend was she was pissed and not happy about it, Echo Azgeda is my girlfriend and when everyone I know found out they were not happy because of what my family and her family has had in the past but she’s changed a bit since then and I’m happy I guess.

My mom is still pissed that I’m with Echo and wants me to leave her but I’m not going to, me and Echo have been dating for a year and a half and I am happy...mostly. 

“Bellamy, why are you with her?” my mom asks.

“Because I’m happy,” I tell her.

“You say that you are happy but I don’t believe you, I can see it in your eyes you are not happy with her at all” 

“Mom leave it alone”

“No, you’re just hurting yourself by being with her... you don’t know do you?”

“Know what?”

“Clarke is coming back and Murphy is going to be working with you”

“How do you know this”

“I talk to Octavia and Clarke every week”

“You talk to Clarke every week and you didn’t tell me”

“Yes Bellamy, I didn’t tell you because she told me not to,” she says to me.

“She told you not to tell me that you talk to her every week?” I asked her. “She really does hate me doesn’t she”

“She doesn’t hate you, you just stopped talking to her and she doesn’t understand why”

“I didn’t stop talking to her, she stopped talking to me and I had no control over it”

“That’s what she says but about you”

“What are you talking about”

“She told me that you stopped talking to her and that she had no control over it” my mom tells me.

“You know what this conversation is over I have to go meet Echo anyway” I tell her as I leave the house to go meet Echo at the diner.

All of what my mom told me kept running around in my head, she says I stopped talking to her first...that’s not what I remember. I do miss her and it would be great to see her again but I just hope that she doesn’t hate me for not talking to her for all these years, O has tried to get me to talk to her but I just don’t want her to hate me more then she most likely already does.

I get to the diner and nothing is in my head other than what my mom and Octavia has been telling me, I say I’m happy with Echo and I try to show that I’m happy with Echo but my mom says she sees right through it and says I’m crazy for being with her. 

“Hey Bellamy, so what have you been up to today?” Echo says when she sits down in the booth.

“Um, just talking to Octavia and my mom, what about you?” I ask her.

“Work, then hanging out with my uncle, so can tonight be date night?”

“I can’t tonight, Octavia and I have a skype meeting then I have some paperwork to do”

“Okay, well when can date night be”

“I don’t know, I’ve been pretty busy lately, but we can soon”

“Can I stay with you tonight or you come to my place?” she asks.

“I can’t tonight Echo, let’s just enjoy lunch” I tell her.

After lunch I go home and get on the computer and wait for O to call, why can’t I stop thinking about what my mom said earlier. Why would she say that now that doesn’t make sense unless she has some kind of plan and knowing her and my sister they both do and I have no choice but to go along with it even if I don’t want to.

“Hey big brother” O says as she pops up on the screen.

“Hey little sister,” I say back.

“How’s mom?”

“Like you and Clarke don’t know”

“She told you, didn’t she?”

“Oh yes she did, why didn’t you tell me this before”

“Tell you what, that Clarke and I talk to mom every week without you knowing, like that conversation would have gone well...why do you care anyway, unless you still have feelings for her”

“Octavia stop talking about me!” I hear Clarke yell.

“Are you in the same room” I ask her.

“You didn’t know I’m roommates with her” she asks me.

“No”

“Oh, well we’ve been roommates since freshman year here so...I thought you knew that”

“No O, I didn’t, can I talk to her?”

“I can ask...hey Clarke!” she yells at her.

“What!” Clarke yells back.

“Can you come here for a second!”

“What do you want?!?”

“Come here!”

“What” Clarke says coming into view on the computer.

“Bell wants to talk to you” O says pointing to the computer.

“No”

“Come on Clarke, please”

“No” Clarke says as she leaves the room.

“Sorry Bell” O says when Clarke is gone.

“It’s fine, she grew up beautiful”

“Yeah, well you know why she won’t right?”

“No why”

“Well you stopped talking to her out of nowhere and now that she knows about Echo…”

“Wait she knows about Echo”

“Yeah, she kinda figured it out”

“How? Did mom tell her...you did” I say.

“She forced it out of me” O says.

“No I didn’t, I asked you who he was dating and you told me, don’t blame me for it” Clarkes yells.

“Octavia…”

“I can’t keep things from her Bell, she’s my best friend”

“Okay, can I miss your graduation then”

“You really want to do that to your little sister”

“No, is it true that she is coming back”

“Yeah, we all are”

“Who’s we”

“Me, Clarke, and Murphy”

“Okay” 

“Fine I’ll talk to him” Clarke all of the sudden says.

“Okay” O says.

“What do you want?” she says to me.

“How have you been?” I ask her.

“Fine”

“You hate me don’t you”

“I don’t hate you, I’m just upset with you”

“I understand that, how’s Murphy”

“He’s fine...what did you want to talk to me about?”

“So you’re coming back here and Murphy is going to be working with me” I say to her.

“Yeah, and I’ll be working with your mom” she says

“You're a dance teacher?”

“No I’m a art teacher for grades 11 and 12”

“Cool”


	20. 20

  * **Clarke’s P.O.V**



“Fine I’ll talk to him” I say to O when she is talking to Bellamy on the phone.

“Okay” O says.

“What do you want?” I ask him rudely.

“How have you been?” he asks.

“Fine”

“You hate me don’t you”

“I don’t hate you, I’m just upset with you”

“I understand that, how’s Murphy”

“He’s fine...what did you want to talk to me about?”

“So you’re coming back here and Murphy is going to be working with me” he says.

“Yeah, and I’ll be working with your mom” I tell him while rolling my eyes.

“You're a dance teacher?”

“No I’m a art teacher for grades 11 and 12”

“Cool”

“Anyway is your mom there”

“She should be, give me a minute”

He left off the screen and then Aurora came on, “hey sweetheart, how have you been this week” she says.

“I’m okay, but my head is a rollercoaster right now” I tell her.

“You need to get things sorted out with my son”

“I know but that’s not the problem right now, remember what we talked about the last time we talked, well…”

“You didn’t do it did you”

“I couldn’t, I’ll tell you about it when I see you next week”

“Okay, well I’ll see you girls later okay, I love you guys”

“We love you too” me and O say at the same time.

The video call ended and I knew Aurora was right, I needed to end my relationship and I needed to sort things out with Bellamy. Octavia doesn’t know anything about what me and Aurora talked about for the past few weeks but I know she wants to know.

“So how are you and your boyfriend?” she asks me. Yeah I have a boyfriend and I don’t feel anything for him and that’s what me and Aurora have been talking about.

“We’re fine…” I say trying not to seem like I’m lying.

“What are you not telling me”

“Him and I have been dating for 6 months and so he thinks it’s a good idea to get down on one knee and ask me to marry him and it was in front of a lot of people so I said yes”

“You did what?...is that what my mom was asking about”

“Yeah, I told her I was going to break up with him and before I could he asked me to marry him in front of a lot of people”

“Wow, and you couldn’t talk to my mom about this because…” she asks dragging out the word ‘because’

“Bellamy” I say quickly.

“Wow”

“I know I’m a horrible person”

I don’t know what to do, I liked Joe (my boyfriend/fiancé) but I don’t love him and one thing is that he doesn’t know that I’m going back to Vancouver where everyone I know and love is, he told me he wants us to move to Florida. I can’t and won't, I just don’t know how to end it with him, and I couldn’t say no to him at all because everyone was looking at me with happy faces and I knew all of them wanted me to say yes. When I did say yes everyone cheered and was happy for me and all I could do was fake a smile and pretend I was happy when I wanted to scream and die. 

“Earth to Clarke!” Octavia yells at me.

“What” I ask.

“What are you going to do”

“I don’t know, I’m a horrible person aren't I”

“No you are not, but you should have been honest with him and not say yes but he shouldn’t have asked you in front of many people that you don’t know...if it was me and Lincoln did that I would be so pissed” 

“I just feel horrible and like I’m a bad person”

“Well you’re not, you were just scared to say no because of all the people that were watching”

“You really think that”

“Yeah, now come on we have to get ready for drinks tonight” O says to me. I really don’t want to go and have drinks even though I could use some.

“Do I have to go, I just want to sit here, eat junk food, and watch Netflix” I tell her. I could tell that Octavia wasn’t going to take no for an answer but I wasn’t going because I don’t want to be around people right now.

“Please go with”

“No, I don’t want to go”

“Fine, but you will regret it”

With that O left with Lincoln and I was alone in the apartment, I went to the kitchen and made some popcorn and some hot coco. I got to the living room and put on ‘ Dear John’ (I love this movie) and within 20 minute in the movie there’s a knock at my door. I got up and opened my door and I can not believe who is standing at my door.


	21. 21

  * **Bellamy’s P.O.V**



After the call ended with Octavia and Clarke I knew I had to go see them and so I packed up real quick and went to my truck and started driving. They only live about 3 hours away from our hometown and so it wont take that long to get there, my mom wanted to come with me so I let her...we are driving and I can't help but think about what her and my mom were talking about. 

We get to Seattle and I drop my mom off at the hotel as I go to where O and Clarke live, I drive and drive until I find myself at their door. I sat there for 20 minute before I had the courage to walk up to the door and knock, when I did it took 5 minutes before the door opened and I was face to face with Clarke. Face to face to Clarke fucking Griffin. 

“What are you doing here?” She asks me unable to understand why I am here.

“I had to see O” I tell her not wanting her to know I was here to see her more then my sister.

“She isn’t here”

“I also had to see you”

“Why”

“I knew if I called you, you wouldn’t have answered” just then I heard thunder and I knew it was about to rain.

“Come in,” she says and I walk in. I noticed that she was watching her favorite movie (Dear John) and she had all her favorite junk food and her hot coco. “Why did you want to see me, you could have waited until next week”

“I couldn’t wait, I know you most likely hate me and don’t want to see or talk to me again but we need to talk face to face”

“I don’t hate you, I’m just very confused, and it’s not that I don’t want to see or talk to you again it’s just what I thought that’s what you wanted”

“Why would I want that?”

“You just all of the sudden stopped talking to me and I just figured you didn’t want anything to do with me anymore”

“No, I slowly stopped talking to you because I thought that because you were not ready to be with anyone so that you wouldn’t want to be friends so I figured if you still wanted to be friends you would try to stay in touch with me but you didn’t so I figured that’s what you wanted” I say to her.

At this point Clarke and I are sitting on the couch and I don’t know whether or not she will kick me out, I really hope she doesn’t.

“No, that’s not what I wanted at all, I’ve missed you so much for the past 5 years” she says trying not to cry.

“I’ve missed you too, I’m also wondering what you and my mom were talking about”

“Oh that...um, well I have this boyfriend and I have been dating him for 6 months and I didn’t tell your mom this but he thought it was a great idea to get down on one knee and ask me to marry him and it was in front of a lot of people so I said yes, but before he did I told your mom I was ending it with him but the day I tried he proposed in front of a lot of people and I couldn’t say no and he wants me to move to Florida with him” 

“Wow, what are you going to do?” 

“I don’t know, I feel like a horrible person for saying yes even though I don’t love him or want to be with him”

“Your not a horrible person, I understand why you did say yes but when are you going to tell him”

“As soon as I can”

* * *

**Clarke’s P.O.V**

I can’t believe Bellamy came 3 hours from Vancouver just to talk to me face to face, I have missed him so much and I want to be with him but I know that I can’t. Of course when I’m ready to be with him he has a girlfriend and I am in a relationship that I don’t want to be in at all, he is still so sweet and caring and him being with Echo Azgeda is unbelievable. 

“I’ve missed you too, I’m also wondering what you and my mom were talking about,” he says to me.

“Oh that...um, well I have this boyfriend and I have been dating him for 6 months and I didn’t tell your mom this but he thought it was a great idea to get down on one knee and ask me to marry him and it was in front of a lot of people so I said yes, but before he did I told your mom I was ending it with him but the day I tried he proposed in front of a lot of people and I couldn’t say no and he wants me to move to Florida with him” I explain to him hoping he would not think I’m a horrible person.

“Wow, what are you going to do?” 

“I don’t know, I feel like a horrible person for saying yes even though I don’t love him or want to be with him”

“Your not a horrible person, I understand why you did say yes but when are you going to tell him”

“As soon as I can” We sit there in silence then he pulls me into a hug and all I can do is melt into his hug, I have missed being in his arms and I want nothing else in the world other than to be in his arms forever. “Do you want to watch Dear John with me?” I asked him.

“Sure but if I’m here when O gets home we are both screwed” he says with a smirk.

“I know”

About 2 hours later the movie ends and I’m cuddled up next to him almost asleep, just then my phone goes off and Bellamy says “You have a text”

“Look at it for me,” I say, pushing my face further into the crook of his neck.

“You have two, one from O and one from someone named Joe”

“What did O say?” 

“She won't be home because she went home with Lincoln...her and Lincoln are still together?”

“Yeah...let me see what Joe said” he hands me my phone and I sit up to read what Joe sent me.

**_Joe- Hey haven’t heard from you today so I’m coming over and I hope that you are okay_ **

Shit what am I going to do now...I look stressed because Bellamy is looking at me like he is worried. “You okay?”

“Yeah, he is just coming over and I can’t stop him because he will come even if I want him to or not” I tell him.

“Who is he”

“My boyfriend/fiancé”

“Oh damn, want me to go”

“No, but he knows the story between us and if he saw you here we both will be screwed, one he will want to kill you for being here even if you didn’t do anything and then he would accuse me of cheating on him with you”

“He’s that paranoid”

“Yeah, but you can hide in my bedroom until he leaves” 

“If you want me too...and I wasn’t lying when I told you that I have missed you because I have” he says while pulling me close to him, he pulled me so close where our lips almost touched but didn’t (sadly).

“I wished you would have done something as stupid as coming from Vancouver to Seattle sooner” I say as I’m still in his embrace. Our faces are inches apart then I hear a knock at the door “he’s here” I say as I pull away from Bellamy.

Bellamy goes behind the wall and I knew he was going to watch what happens, I go to the door to find Joe standing there, I move out of the way to let him in and he then walks to the living room and sits on the couch. “You're wondering why I’m here, right?” Joe asks.

“Yeah, I thought I was seeing you tomorrow,” I say to him.

“I just wanted to see you” he says as he pulls me closer to him and kisses me.

“Joe, please take it easy...we need to talk” I say to him as I pull away looking down. He looks at me as for me to continue and so I do “I can’t marry you”

“Why”

“You want to move to Florida and I can’t and we have only been dating for 6 months it’s too soon”

“Why did you say yes then”

“You asked me in front of a lot of people and I did want people to be upset that I said no to a very sweet man, I should’ve told you when we were alone but you were so happy and it killed me to see you unhappy...I’m sorry”

“You should have just said no, instead of letting me think I was going to marry the girl I love...do you even love me?”

“I...I...I thought I did but recently I have realized that I just tricked myself into thinking I did because I didn’t want to be alone anymore” I tell him while trying not to cry.

“So all the I love you’s were a lie?” he asks, very upset.

“When I said them to you I thought they were true but now that I rethink my life I was fooling myself into thinking it was true”

Joe then gets up and leaves without another word, I almost forgot about Bellamy but when he came out I broke down into tears and all he did was hold me until I stopped. When I did stop crying we watched another movie (The notebook also written by the same person who wrote Dear John) and in the middle of it I fell asleep on his shoulder.


	22. 22

  * **Clarke’s P.O.V- the next day**



When I woke up I was in my bed and not in the living room, I went out into the living room to find a still sleeping Bellamy Blake on my couch. He was so peaceful when he was asleep and I didn’t want to wake him so I went to the kitchen to make food. When it was done I went back into the living room to find that Bellamy was still sound asleep, and I really don’t want to wake him but he needs to eat. “Bell...Bellamy” I say while shaking him. When he didn’t wake up, I raised my voice “Bellamy!”

“What, I’m up” he says in his sleepy voice.

“I made you food, you need to eat”

“Thanks, I hope it was alright I passed out on your couch”

“Yeah it was fine, but you didn’t have to carry me to my bedroom last night”

“Yeah I did, your room is just like Octavia’s used to be but more clean”

“Yeah she helped me with my room, did you see her’s”

“Yeah, almost identical to the one back home...are you okay”

I nod without saying anything, I don’t want to cry but at the same time I do but not in front of Bell...Not again. “Yeah, I’m fine but I just hate that he hates me...I didn’t want that to happen, I thought it would have gone better then it did”

“It’s not your fault, yeah you could have said no but you were scared and if I was him I would have understood and asked if we could still be friends in a way” He says while looking into my eyes.

“You don’t know that, you never asked someone to marry you and find out that she never really loved you and she only said yes because she was surrounded by people she didn’t know. If that happened to you, you would be very upset and wonder what you did wrong even though you didn’t do anything at all” I tell him as he finishes his breakfast.

“I would be upset but eventually I would have understood”

“Can we change the subject”

“Yeah, so other than college and Joe what have you been up to?” he asks.

“Mostly just hanging with O, Lincoln, and my brother but every couple of weeks we go out to this club and drink but I didn’t go last night” I tell him, kinda smiling.

“Why is that?”

“I wasn’t in the mood and I just wanted to stay home and if I did go I would have missed you, by the way she will be home any moment so either you want to get out of here of act like you just got here”

“I want to see my sister so I’ll act like I just got here”

“Okay, well I’m going to my classes around 1 witch is in a couple hours, so when she gets here I’ll just go over to Murphy’s”

“You don’t have to”

“It’s your sister, I’ll give you time to catch up” 

“It’s up to you, you can stay or go but I would like you to stay because if you leave and O is here with me alone she will start interrogating me”

“She is your sister”

“She is your best friend”

“Blood over rules that sorry”

“You are…” just then the front door opens and Octavia walks into the room.

“Bell, what are you doing here?” she asks, very excited.

“I’m here to see you and to see where you have been going to school for 4 years” Bellamy says while trying not to laugh.

“You could have waited until next week”

“Well mom wanted to go soon as well so she is at the hotel”

“Why don’t you stay here, Clarke and I don’t mind” she says and when she did my eyes go wide, she can’t be serious.

“As long as it’s okay with you and Clarke” he says while looking at me.

“Yeah, that’s fine, I have to go. I'll see you guys later” I see as I leave the apartment.

* * *

**Octavia’s P.O.V**

Clarke left and I think I know the real reason why, why the hell was Bellamy fucking Blake in Clarke’s and I’s apartment without Clarke wanting to kill him? So when she left I just looked at Bell and he has no idea of what I am thinking about at this moment.

“Okay why are you really here” I ask him while crossing my arms.

“I told you, I’m here to see you,” He says.

“That’s bullshit”

“What are you…”

“I walk into my apartment and Clarke and you are talking and laughing, the last time she talked to you that I know of she was pissed at you and didn’t want to talk to you so what the fuck”

“Okay I did come here to see you but also her, I came here last night right before it started raining and Clarke opened the door, she was shocked and didn’t know what to do. She asked me why I was here and I told her I was here to see you then she told me that you were not home, I needed to talk to her so I told her I was also here to see her. She then goes on to ask why and I tell her that I knew she wouldn’t have answered my call if I did, it started to rain so she let me in, we talked and we are on good terms now but then that guy named Joe texts her saying he was coming over. I hid behind the wall as she tells him she can’t marry him and by the end he is really pissed off to where he storms out without another word. She was really upset that she hurt him so bad that she fell into my arms crying, we watched a couple movies and she falls asleep on my shoulder, I carry her to her bedroom and then fell asleep on the couch and that is all that happened since I got here” 

“Wow is mom really here?” I asked him after everything he told me.

“Yeah she is, she forced me to take her with me” he says while smirking and shaking his head. “Please don’t tell Clarke I told you”

“I won’t”

After that we catch up and just hang out, right about now Clarke is almost done with school and should be done in an hour or so.


	23. 23

  * **Bellamy’s P.O.V**



After Clarke left Octavia went right into interrogating me about why I was here and everything, of course she got it out of me and I told her everything, but one thing that she and Clarke don’t know is the actual reason I came to see Clarke. I came to see her because I needed to know if those old feeling were still there and as soon as I saw Clarke when she opened the front door I knew they were true, when I saw her on the video chat I felt something but I wasn’t sure so I needed to see her in person to make sure. Yeah I could have waited until next week but I couldn’t wait that long because I would have gone crazy not knowing if it was true or not, I know I’m with Echo but I don’t love her, I’m still in love with the one girl that I couldn’t have in high school and of course she just got out of a relationship and most likely won't be ready to be with anyone for a while.

I wish I could get a break and be able to be with her and I know for a fact that I just buried my feelings for Clarke but I know that I’m still in love with her. When I saw her all the feelings I felt back in high school came again and when she opened the door and asked why I was there at first I couldn’t say anything because of all the feelings I had back then came to me all at once. I don’t know what I am going to do, but one way or another Clarke will find out and I may or may not be in trouble for more than one thing.

“You still love her, don’t you” Octavia asks out of nowhere when we are watching a movie.

“What?” I ask her.

“You’re in love with Clarke still, aren't you?”

“Where did this come from”

“It came from the fact that you were here and no one knew that you came into town and the fact that you came here and talked to Clarke even though you knew that she was still pissed at you, so that tells someone who knows both you and Clarke that you are still in love with her”

“Octavia…”

“You’re not saying no,” she says with a smirk.

“Octavia that’s enough, I’m going to go get mom and our stuff then I’ll be back” I tell her as I get up and leave the apartment.

* * *

**Aurora’s P.O.V**

I stayed at the hotel when Bell went to the girls apartment, I know my baby boy is still in love with Clarke because it’s very obvious. She is the only girl he has ever really loved and I know that once he sees her he will realize how much he still loves her. Bellamy never came home last night so either he and Clarke made peace or O was home and let him stay the night there, I’m hoping the first one because they need to fix things that happened between them. 

Around 3 in the afternoon he comes and says we are staying in the girls apartment until their graduation then we’ll go home and wait for them to come home on their own. We arrive at the girls apartment and when we walk in there is Clarke and Murphy sitting in the living room with a smile on their faces.

“Oh Clarke there you are, and you are smiling for once” I say to her.

“Yeah, I’m glad you came out here with him because if I didn’t know you were here I would have kicked his ass” she says with the biggest smile I have ever seen her make. She comes up and hugs me along with Murphy but when he sees Bellamy he is not happy whatsoever and I can understand why. “Murphy stand down” Clarke says to try to calm him down but it doesn’t work.

* * *

**Murphy’s P.O.V**

When Aurora Blake walks into my little sister's apartment she smiles and says hi to Clarke, Clarke hugs her and then I do but then I see Bellamy and I am so pissed. “Murphy stand down” Clarke says to me but I don’t listen to her.

“What the hell are you doing here!” I yell at him.

“Wow, man come on, calm down, me and Clarke worked things out” he says while putting his hands.

“I don’t care, you hurt my little sister you hurt me and no one gets away with that”

“Murphy leave him alone” Clarke says to me.

“Why are you standing up for him?”

“We talked last night, we’re good now, okay? Just leave him alone”

“Fine, but I’m not done, I didn’t want him near you in high school and you got hurt, and if you let him in again he is just going to do the same thing” I tell her trying to get her to listen.

“Then that is just something that is just going to need to happen, okay?” she asks me.

“Fine” 

* * *

**Writer’s P.O.V**

After Murphy settled down, Clarke and Bellamy finally sat down in the living room, they talked about sleeping arrangements, Bellamy gave him mom the guest room while he said he will stay in the living room because he wanted his mom to have an actual bed. Clarke offered to share her bed and so did Octavia but he said he was fine in the living room, all of them ate dinner then went to bed. 

One thing that is bugging Octavia is the fact that every time she asks Clarke if she is okay or if something was the matter all Clarke would say is either she was fine or that nothing was wrong, O didn’t believe her most of the time but she didn’t ask Clarke about it because it’s really none of her business. Octavia is happy now that her best friend and her brother are on good terms but O thinks that with just a little time and patience then the two most important people in her life would be something more.

Bellamy on the other hand has a lot to think about, like the fact that old feelings are coming back that he had for his little sister's best friend and the fact that he is dating the one person that hates Clarke more than her own mother does. He doesn’t know what to do at this point, everyone he knows has been telling him to leave Echo but he doesn’t want to admit that they are right, he thinks that if he admits that he was wrong about Echo they will never let him forget it and he also doesn’t want to say that the thing he has with Echo was just him trying to fill up the feelings he had for Clarke. Bellamy has deep, deep feelings for his little sister’s best friend and he sometimes wished he didn’t but at the same time he is glad because like he always says he likes a challenge. 

Clarke has realized how much she has missed Bellamy all these years and knowing that he is happy with someone makes her happy but knowing that he is with the one person that hates her more then her own mother makes her angry and also makes her want nothing to do with Bellamy until Echo is out of his life. Clarke knows that she can’t ask Bellamy to choose between her and his own girlfriend. That is just not fair but she thinks that he will choose her no matter what and she can’t have that come true so she is just going to suck it up and keep moving forward as much as she can.


	24. 24

  * **Clarke’s P.O.V *a week later***



It’s a day before graduation and Aurora and Bellamy are still here, they are leaving tomorrow and part of me can’t wait for Bellamy to leave but another part of me doesn’t want him to leave at all, the only reason I want him to leave is because it’s awkward between us and I hate it. I want it to be like it used to be but I know that will take time, ever since he came to stay in the apartment we haven’t talked much and it’s really awkward, the only thing we do is look at each other.

I just want the old Bellamy back…my Bellamy.

I have really missed talking and hanging out with him but it’s not like that, when we made up and talked out our issues I thought that maybe things would kinda go back to how they used to be but it’s just like it was when we started to stop talking to each other.

Everyone is out of the apartment other than me and Bellamy, he hasn’t left his room yet today but when he does it’s gonna be weird. Octavia and Aurora are out getting O’s graduation outfit and Murphy is somewhere because if he’s not here he is either at home or somewhere else, just then Bellamy comes out and snaps me out of my thoughts.

“Hey” is all he says.

“Hey, what do you have planned for today?” I asked him.

“I don’t know, why?”

“I was just wondering because I have nothing to do today but I want to get out of the house”

“Want to do something”

“Like what”

“I don’t know, you have been here the longest what is fun to do around here”

“Everything that is fun is either only open at night or is not around at the moment”

“Okay what kind of nightly fun are you talking about?” he asks.

“Bars and Clubs mostly” I say to him.

“Where is O and my mom”

“Out shopping for O’s graduation outfit”

“Why didn’t you go?”

“Do you really have to ask that question, I’m just surprised that your mom went”

“My mom only went because she wants to spend as much time as she came with Octavia before we go home tomorrow”

We talk for about an hour then O and Aurora come home, Octavia doesn’t do anything other then go to her room and pack some more because she is behind big time, Aurora on the other hand sits down next to Bell and joins in on our conversation. 

* * *

***that night***

I texted Murphy earlier to see if he wanted to come with Bellamy and I to the bar down the road, he said no. O wanted to go but then Lincoln texted and she went to hang out with him, so it’s just me and Bell, I hope things go back to the way they used to be soon.

We take his truck because I don’t have a car or truck, instead I have a motorbike and he said he wanted to drive so that’s why and because I wouldn’t let him drive my bike. He puts on country music and I just get lost in the music, he looks over at me and smiles at me like he used to and then it hit me hard...I’m still deeply in love with him...I knew before that I still loved him but now that I know that I’m still in love with him makes it even more stressful than it was before. 

* * *

***at the bar***

We arrived at the bar and we didn’t talk the whole way here because I was dancing in the car and he would watch me every chance he could and every time I noticed it I would blush. We are at the bar sitting down and Bellamy all of the sudden just starts laughing and I’m all confused as to why and what he is thinking.

“What?” I asked him as he is still laughing.

“Thinking of the night we met, it’s just kinda funny now and we were just kids and I can’t believe I just walked up to you and just said ‘hey what are you doing here alone princess’ it’s just funny to me now” he says still kinda laughing.

“What made you think of that night”

“Well back home on the corner where we met there was a bar and a diner right next to the bar just like here and as soon as we walked in here it hit my mind and made me laugh”

“I remember that night very well because it was the first time I thought someone actually understood who I was other then my brother, so much happened then and thinking about it now it’s horrible” 

“Yeah, stupid spacewalker being an asshole and Gina leaving me because she thought I was in love with someone else, and now that I think about it I really don’t know what happened between you and spacewalker” he says.

“It doesn’t matter anymore” I say to him while not making eye contact. I know if he finds out exactly what happened between me and Finn he will murder Finn and I can’t let him do that. Not even Murphy knows what happened.

“It does matter so what happened, all I know is that the day you ended it with him he was hitting you and then Murphy came in and beat the crap out of him that’s it”

“Bellamy it doesn’t matter now, all that matters is that he is out of my life now”

“Clarke what are you not telling me, what did he do to you”

“Not here, let’s have a few drinks and then go to my hiding spot”

He agrees and we drink and talk about his work and about how having Murphy right next door is a pain in my ass. I didn’t want to tell him what happened but he won't give up until he knows, I know at first he will be mad that I didn’t tell him sooner and then he will say how much he wants to kill Finn, I will then start to cry and he will hold me and then I don’t know what will happen after that. This is what I think will happen, I don’t know for a fact.

We are at my hiding spot and it has the biggest oak tree you will ever see, I sat against it and Bellamy then sat next to me. I really don’t want to tell him but part of me knows that he needs to know, he’s been in the dark long enough, it’s time for him to know what really happened and hopefully he won’t hunt down and kill him.

“Tell me what happened, I want to know the whole story” he says while looking into my eyes.

“Why do you care now, why do you want to know now, why can’t we just move on?” I asked him.

“We can after you tell me, and I have always cared I just didn’t ask you because I knew you were hurting, and I want to know now because you never told me before”

“You sure you want to know”

“Yes”

“Okay...well you already know how we got together so a week before I ended it with him he did things that were not okay and it’s painful to talk about so...here we go. I walked into his house to talk to him about how he was treating me and he was in a bad mood, I tried to calm him down but it just made him more angry” I pause not wanting to cry.

“Hey, it’s okay, take your time” he says.

* * *

**Bellamy’s P.O.V**

“Tell me what happened, I want to know the whole story” I say while looking into her eyes.

“Why do you care now, why do you want to know now, why can’t we just move on?” she asks.

“We can after you tell me, and I have always cared I just didn’t ask you because I knew you were hurting, and I want to know now because you never told me before”

“You sure you want to know”

“Yes”

“Okay...well you already know how we got together so a week before I ended it with him he did things that were not okay and it’s painful to talk about so...here we go. I walked into his house to talk to him about how he was treating me and he was in a bad mood, I tried to calm him down but it just made him more angry” she pauses and I know she is trying not to cry.

“Hey, it’s okay, take your time” I tell her.

She takes a deep breath and then continues “he then grabbed my shoulders and shoved me against the wall, he started screaming at me because of something I didn’t remember or do. He tried to take my clothes off and I pushed him away and said no then he slapped me so hard that my jaw went numb. He drugged me and then raped me, I then blacked out and when I woke Jasper was there and trying to wake me” by this time she is crying and shaking while not knowing how to continue.

“He did that to you?” she nods and I then pulled her into my arms and she starts to cry harder “I can’t believe he did that, I knew he was an asshole but he is a straight up monster, I’m so sorry, I wish I knew you then I wish I could have stopped it somehow” she shakes her head then turns to me.

“You couldn’t have stopped it even if we did know each other, I blamed myself for the longest time. I would tell myself that it was my fault, that I drove him to it, that I was responsible for what happened” 

We look into each other's eyes for what feels like an eternity then she smiles like she used to when we did something together. Right now in this moment I’m only thinking of her and only her, in this moment nothing can change how I feel about the woman in my arms, in this moment I’m not thinking of my girlfriend back home that I just left without telling her where I was going...I’m not thinking of the girl that I will have to face and explain where I’ve been for the last week and a half without telling her I went to see the woman I love tomorrow. No, I'm thinking of the only beautiful blonde I know that finally opened up to me about what happened to her and that monster.


	25. 25

  * **Octavia’s P.O.V**



Okay so Bellamy and Clarke asked pretty much everyone if we wanted to go out with them tonight and I told them to all say they were busy or that they didn’t want to...anyway I made up an excuse that Lincoln and I was spending the night together because they need time alone to find what they used to. I have always wanted them to be together but when they stopped hanging out and being close I kinda gave up on the thought of it ever happening.

I was hanging out with Lincoln and he wants to go on a romantic stroll in the pine woods so we go and we find the only oak tree and find that Bellamy fucking Blake is holding my bestfriend in his arms, I look at Lincoln and he has a smirk as wide as mine. Lincoln and Clarke have known each other for a long time and him and I have always hated her ex Joe so seeing this made me and him very happy.

“My plan worked” I say to him with a smile.

“You planned this?” he asks me, a little surprised. Is he really that surprised that I planned to get them alone all night.

“I planned for them to be alone all night together and it was just our luck that we got to see them like this”

“I love you, you have always tried to make Clarke happy and Murphy and I really want to thank you for that”

“No need, I want to make my brother and her happy and the only way that’s going to happen is if they are together and Murph would kill me if he found out I was part of this, and I love you too” 

Just then I saw them just looking into each other’s eyes and you could tell they are deeply in love with each other and I couldn’t be happier about it. Clarke smiles like she hasn’t done in years and I have a feeling there is a kiss about to happen and I know I should walk away but I can’t, Echo doesn’t deserve my brother. 

* * *

**Clarke’s P.O.V**

Bellamy and I are just looking into each other’s eyes and me knowing how I feel about him makes me want to kiss him but he is in love with someone else and I have no chance because I screwed it up when I did. I smile at him and then he does at me and all I want to do is jump his bones right here right now, I want him and only him, I love him so much and I know he doesn’t feel the same for me anymore but I really wished he did.

Just then I was snapped out of my thoughts when I saw him start to lean in, by the time I thought to back away it was too late and our lips were connected and instead of pushing him away I kissed him back with just as much passion as he was giving me. We pull apart and I have no idea what to do.

“Clarke...I’m…” he starts to say.

“Bellamy, don’t get me wrong I have wanted to do that since I saw you on my doorstep but what the hell...you have a girlfriend” I say to him.

“I know I have a girlfriend and I don’t know...I just couldn’t wait any longer”

“Wait for what?”

“When you opened your door 2 weeks ago everything hit me all at once”

“What hit you”

“When I saw you I realized that all the feelings I had for you never went away, I tried burying them but it never worked and I tried moving on but now I can see what my mom meant when she said I didn’t belong with Echo” he says while looking right into my eyes.

“Bellamy…you know I have felt something for you ever since we met” he nods “but bell you are with someone else and yeah I don’t like her but she has feelings too and I can’t do what happened to me with someone else, I can’t be the other woman” I say to him trying not to cry.

He justs nods and we sit there in silence until he asks “you wanna go”

“I’ll take a cab go ahead without me”

He says nothing and leaves...I can’t believe he still feels the same for me and I for him. What are we going to do, I love him so much but I just got out of a relationship and he is in one...I don’t know what I’m going to do. I get up and start walking toward the sidewalk when I notice that Bellamy didn’t leave at all, he was waiting for when I was ready so he knows I’m okay...that’s one reason why I love him, he does things even when he doesn’t have to and I have a feeling that I missed my chance with him and whomever he marries is a very lucky woman.

He sees me, I get in and we go back to my apartment where Murphy, O, Linc, and Bell’s mom are and when we walked in the door they all looked at us and all I did was go to my room and wait for O to come and beg me to tell her what happened even tho I saw her spying on us earlier.

Hopefully things will be better soon.


	26. 26

  * **Bellamy’s P.O.V**



I can not believe that I kissed Clarke after what she told me happened with her and spacewalker, she kissed me back but she stopped because she knew it was wrong. I love her so much and only if I listened to my mother then I wouldn’t be forced to stop with Clarke because of my girlfriend whom I wish was Clarke. 

When we got back to Clarke’s apartment everyone was there Murphy, O, Lincoln, and my mom. They all looked at us and Clarke smiled at me and went straight to her room...what am I going to do. Murphy and Lincoln go after her and my mom and O sit on the couch waiting for me to tell them what happened.

“What?” I asked them like I don’t know what they want.

“You idiot what happened?” O asks. 

“Like you don’t know you snooper”

“You saw me?”

“Yes, me and Clarke both did”

“Is that why you kissed her, because you knew I was watching?”

“You kissed her?!” my mom asks.

“Yes I kissed her and no, it was in the heat of the moment, I couldn’t stop myself”

“Because you’re still in love with her,” O says.

“Yeah, I am, I love her so much”

“Bell, you will have her with you soon, it will just take time”

“I know, but she said she had feelings for me, she never said that she loved me back, what if she doesn't?” I ask.

“Trust me Bell she does, very much” Octavia says while hugging me.

* * *

**Clarke’s P.O.V**

After I went to my room, Murphy and Lincoln followed me and then closed the door behind them, they just looked at me for a minute and I know they are waiting for me to tell them what happened tonight. “What?” I asked both of them.

“You know what” Murphy says.

“Nothing happened, and if you wanted to know you could’ve came” 

“I don’t want you with him at all”

“I’m not going to be with him, so calm down”

“You say that but you don’t know that for a fact”

“Murphy calm down, if she ends up with him then so what, you can’t stop her or him, they are human they have feelings leave them alone” Lincoln says then he looks at me. “What happened tonight, when you walked in you looked upset” 

“He asked me the whole story of what happened between me and Finn,” I said to him.

“I don’t even know the whole story,” Murphy says.

“I know but I told him and I broke down, he held me and then he kissed me”

“He did what”

“Murphy calm down, I didn’t do anything to stop it but eventually I pulled away and explained why I did” I tell both of them.

“Why did you?” Lincoln says.

“Because he has a girlfriend and the way it happened was not the way I wanted it to, yeah I wanted to kiss him since I saw him on my doorstep but he’s in a relationship and I just got out of one so…”

“You love him”

“Of course she doesn't,” Murphy says.

“Clarke, do you love Bellamy?”

“Of course I do, but he doesn’t love me”

“Wanna bet”

“No, because I know he doesn’t”

“Clarke if you saw the way he looks at you, you would see that he is so deeply in love with you” Lincoln says to me.

I can’t believe that Lincoln thinks that Bellamy fucking Blake still in love with me, I don’t know why I can’t believe it but I just can’t. Yeah he might have feelings for me but in love I don’t think so...how can that be true, how can he be in love with me, I know he did love me in high school but that was 5 years ago. 

The boys leave and I am alone in my room thinking what Lincoln said to me, he can’t...can he? 

Later...I was sitting on my bed when I heard a knock on my door, I got up and I saw Bellamy standing outside of my bedroom door. “Hey, come on in,” I tell him.

“We need to talk...my sister and mother would like me to believe that you’re in love with me, it’s crazy right?” he says.

“Lincoln would like me to believe that you were in love with me...I believe that you might have feelings but you’re not in love with me are you?” 

“umm...I’m going to be truthful with you, yes I am in love with you and I know I shouldn’t be because I’m in a relationship but when I saw you 2 weeks ago I knew I was still in love with you”

“You love me?”

“Yes isn’t that what I just said”

“Why?” 

“I don’t need a reason to love you,” he says.

“Do you think it’s crazy that your mom and sister think that I’m in love with you too?” I ask him, scared to know the truth.

“To be honest I don’t know, I couldn’t think that a perfect girl like you could ever love someone like me...but do you love me?”

“Of course I love you, I have always loved you and you now know why I wasn’t ready to be with anyone after what happened between me and Finn...I fell in love with you within a week of knowing you”

“You love me?”

“Yes very much, but your with someone and I might hate her but I know how it feels to be cheated on and it’s not a good feeling, I want to be with you but I can’t be the other woman”

He nods and we decide to watch a movie and I pick ‘ _ The Notebook _ ’ and he holds me and eventually we both fall asleep, when I wake up it’s 3am and my head is on his chest and he has both arms around me, this feeling that I am feeling right now is something I never want to end. His touch and smell is overwhelming and I love it, I want to be with him and him telling me that he was in love with me last night has always been my dream since we stopped talking but one part that is wrong is that he is with that bitch.

I wish that we had never stopped talking because maybe just maybe I would have been engaged to him instead of Joe and I would have meant to say yes and I would mean mostly everything I say to him, but sadly it didn’t happen that way and I have to deal with these feelings that I have for him and having to deal with the fact that the man I love is with someone I hate and that hates me. He said that he loves me but he never said he was going to leave Echo for me and I don’t want him to, I want him to leave her for himself and I really hope he does.

“What are you thinking about?” he asks me when he sees me awake.

“Everything” I tell him.

“What are you doing up, it’s 3am”

“I just woke up”

“What do you mean about you’re thinking of everything?”

“I’m just thinking about like what if we never stopped talking and we told each other how we felt sooner what would have happened, I was also thinking about what I wish we could have been if nothing happened between me and Finn and if we kept talking...because after the hospital visit with your mom that’s pretty much when we stopped”

“Why did you leave that day...after my mom talked to you alone”

“I left because of what me and her talked about was too much for me at the time”

“What did you guys talk about”

I don’t know what to tell him, I don’t know how he’s going to react to what she told me. What if he doesn’t understand that even back then his mother wanted us to be together.

* * *

**Flashback**

_ “Bell, I’m tired...I can’t fight anymore, I want to come home and be your mom for as long as I can,” Aurora says to Bell. _

_ “No mom, please fight you can beat this, they're trying a new drug that has had success on you next week, so please just keep fighting a little longer” he says trying not to break down.  _

_ “Okay, I will for you and O...anyway Clarke are you finally dating my son” _

_ “Um...no we’re just friends, but someday he will find someone who will be the luckiest gal in the world” I say trying not to blush. _

_ “You're right or maybe he has found her,” my mom says. _

_ “What are you talking about mom?” Bellamy asks her. _

_ “Nothing, can I talk to Clarke alone please” _

_ “Umm, sure I guess” he says and leaves. _

_ “Why are you and my son not dating, because the last time I saw you, you never met him but knew you would hate him...now that you met him you two are very nice to each other what happened” _

_ “Well I dated this guy who hurt me and Murphy kicked his ass, and Bellamy found me on a curb crying, and he made up this nickname for me in the process. Anyway he bought me dinner and we talked, he also got out of a relationship and we became friends and we talked a lot about a lot of different things” I explained to her. _

_ “Wow, but I can tell you have feelings for him” _

_ “How did you-” _

_ “It’s the way you look at him, the same way I looked at Bellamy’s dad before he left” _

_ “Oh, but I’m not ready to be with anyone right now” _

_ “And that’s okay, have you guys ever-” _

_ “Oh god no, we kissed a couple times but twice I pulled away and once he did” _

_ “You didn’t let me finish, I was going to only ask if you guys ever kissed but now I know” _

_ “Aurora, what should I do...every time I see him I want to be with him but I can’t be with him and it kills me but every time I get close I get scared” I asked her. _

_ “You just need some time, keep talking to him and being friends with him and if you’re both single when you are ready then try to make something happen with him” she says giving me a smile. “We should get Bell back in here before he thinks we are talking about him” _

_ “Knowing him, he already thinks that, but yes we should” _

_ “Can you go get him” _

_ “Yeah” _

**End of flashback**

* * *

“...then I ran into you and you kissed me” I told him.

“My mom knew the whole time, I can’t believe it,” he says.

“I should have listened to her when she told me to keep talking to you but I got scared, your mom said she knew I had feelings for you by the way I looked at you”

“She told me the same thing just about me”

“Bellamy I do love you but...”

“I’m leaving Echo”

“Please don’t say you’re doing it for me”

“No, being with someone you don’t love is a horrible thing to do, I thought I could learn to love her but the truth is that you can’t learn to love someone, and I can’t be with someone I don’t love...and I love you so I’m hoping you will give me a chance when I end it with her”

“We’ll see”

“You’re not going to tell me are you?”

“Nope, and I love you too”

He starts to lean down to kiss me but I move my head to the side and he kisses my check instead. “Really?” he asks.

“Not until you end it with her...if you do” I say, I say the last part under my breath (kinda).

“I will but you won't kiss me until then, you are a mean person”

“And you love me for it”

“That I do”


	27. 27

  * **Bellamy’s P.O.V**



Last night I told Clarke how I felt about her, that I love her and she has her doubts about me leaving Echo, she doesn’t want me to leave Echo for her she wants me to leave her for me. When Clarke told me she loved me back I couldn’t believe it because I never thought she would love someone like me at all, she is the love of my life and hopefully we will get our chance to be together this time.

Early this morning I woke up and Clarke was awake. She was telling me she couldn’t fall back asleep and that she was afraid that I wouldn’t leave Echo, I told her I will tomorrow and that she has nothing to worry about. I then tried to kiss her and she moved and I ended up kissing her cheek and until I end it with Echo she won’t let me kiss her at all. We go back to bed and now I am awake and it’s 11am and I’m just watching my princess sleep.

“You know it’s rude to watch someone sleep right?” she asks while her eyes are still closed.

“I can’t help it, you look so beautiful and peaceful when you sleep and I can’t keep my eyes off of you” I tell her.

“Your sweet but I’m not that beautiful”

“And I’m staying with Echo”

“What”

“I thought we were saying things that were not true”

“You are an asshole”

“But you love me for it”

“Do I...yes I do”

We leave her bedroom and I am thinking of taking Clarke to the diner that was right next to the bar we went to last night. I love her so much and today she is graduating from college and O is switching to the school of law over in vancouver, then Murphy is going to be working at the VPD (vancouver police dep), and lastly Clarke is going to be an art teacher at our old high school.

Clarke has done a lot to be where she is, and if I could take some of her pain away that she carries everyday then I would but all I can do is let her know and to make sure she knows that people love her, including me. I love her so much that I can’t believe I am in a relationship with Echo, I should have just waited or kept in touch with Clarke then maybe I would be married to her by now, that’s what I want...I want to marry Clarke, have kids with her, grow old with her, and only her.

* * *

**Clarke’s P.O.V *later* (1 hour before graduation)**

I’m getting ready for my graduation and I can’t get what happened last night out of my head, I just don’t think he is going to leave her and I don’t know why. I love him so much and I can’t get him out of my head ever since I met him, he has always been there either in the back of my mind or on my mind at all times. I want to have everything with him, I want to marry Bellamy, have his kids, grow old with him, and only him.

He is everything I want and need in life and I don’t know why I have a feeling that his bitch of a whore girlfriend wants everything that will make me miserable. I want him and only him, why does the world hate me so much that I can’t have the one thing that will make me happy, to be with him and have a family with him. 

I’m almost done getting ready when I hear Octavia walk into the bathroom and all she does is look at me. “What?” I ask her.

“What’s going on between you and Bell?” she asks me.

“Nothing, well not really...I’m guessing he told you what happened 2 weeks ago, anyway last night after we got home I talked to the boys in my room and then for about 10 minutes I was alone, then Bellamy came in. He saw that I was crying and then we talked, he told me that you guys knew I was in love with him and that he should talk to me I told him that the boys said the same thing about him then I asked if he was and he told me that he was in love with me and he didn’t think that I was with him then we talked about everything, watched a movie and then fell asleep in his arms. That’s all that happened, I promise you” 

“I believe you but what about his slut of a girlfriend” 

“He says he going to leave her because he doesn’t love her and he understands what you and your mom were talking about, I told him not to leave her because of me because I don’t want to be the other woman”

“You're not the other woman, she is, you had him first” she says.

“That’s not how that works, they are in a relationship plus I was only his friend for like a year” I explain to her. 

“But he and you have loved each other for 6 years total”

“Well it just doesn’t work that way”

“In my book it does and I’m telling you one day you will be married to my brother and one day you guys are going to give me baby nieces and nephews”

“Maybe but I don’t know”

“Wait, you're not freaking out about me talking about you and my brother getting married or having kids, is that what you want with him...do you want a future with him like that?”

“Yeah, I do..I’m...I’m not scared anymore of it”

“Wow I can’t believe Clarke Griffin is not afraid of what the future holds for her” Ocatvia says to me then she hugs me.

“A lot can change in 5 years” I tell her while hugging her back.

I went out into the living room and I have 10 minutes before I had to go but when I saw Bellamy standing there I didn’t think about the time, I didn’t think about anything other than what O was telling me back in the bathroom. He is everything to me, we get in his truck and he starts driving me and O down to the graduation and I was spaced out the whole time, I did notice that Bellamy would look over at me and smile and when I did notice I would smile back at him.

* * *

**After the graduation**

After the graduation I was just hanging out with Murphy and them and then Bellamy came up to me and just took my hand and lead me to a place where we could be alone, he just smiled and held my hand for the longest time and I know in this moment that I love him more then anything at the moment. 

He just looks into my eyes and says nothing and I can’t help but want him right here and right now but I can’t...sadly. “Clarke I know you think that I’m not going to leave Echo but I am, I leave in a few hours to go home and I’m leaving her tomorrow” he says to me.

“I just have a feeling that something will come up and you’ll end up staying with her” I explain to him trying to hold back tears.

“Even if something did come up I would still leave her because I don’t love her...I love you”

“And I love you, it’s just I’m afraid, I can’t lose you again” 

“And you won’t lose me, I promise you that, no one is going to keep me from you, no one”

“Okay, not talking to you for almost 6 years killed me, I would pick up the phone and dial your number and almost press call but I was afraid you would just hang up so I didn’t, so instead I wrote letters a lot of letters” 

“You wrote me letters...what about”

“Everything, I even explain in detail about what Finn did to me, I say how much I love you, and I also say things about school and everything...I’ll give them to you when I move back to vancouver” I say to him.

“Okay” he says. 

“I believe you about you wanting to leave her, it's just...it’s easier said than done”

“I know but I will and you will have to give me something for not believing me”

“Oh is that so”

“Yes it is” 

“And what would I have to do for you?” I asked him while smirking.

“Well that's a surprise, Clarke you have to understand how much I love you and knowing you feel the same makes me the happiest man but knowing that one wrong move could hurt you really bad kills me everytime I think about it” he says to me.

“I do understand, and you have to understand that I love you just as much, when you told me you were in love with me, I didn’t know what to do but then I wasn’t scared anymore and I told you how I felt about you, the only thing that can hurt me the most is if you lie to me about what you are going to do because I’m trusting you and I want to be with you and if I can’t then that will kill me”

He doesn’t say anything back instead he grabs my face and kisses me, I don’t stop him because what’s the point...as long as I don’t have sex with him until he is a free man then nothing is really that bad, she has done a lot worse. “I’m not lying to you, I promise you,” he says.

“You better not be”

We just sit there holding each other because he is leaving soon and I have to start packing to move back home and hopefully be with the love of my life. Just then my phone goes off and it’s a text from O, at first I don’t want to open it then she sends me another one.

**O-** _ Echo cheated on Bell _

**O-** _ and she didn’t only kiss the other guy, or I should say guys...I found out that she has been playing him...I guess he was just one of her flings that she kept around for free sex. _

“Oh My God” I say out loud without realizing it until after I said it.

“What?” Bellamy asks me as he looks lovingly into my eyes.

“Octavia found something out”

“What?”

“Echo cheated on you, O says that she didn’t only kiss the guy or guys and that she found out that Echo was playing you...I guess you were just another one of her flings that she kept around for free sex” 

“Are you sure?”

“It’s what Octavia texted me...I’m sorry”

“Don’t be, I know she cheated on me before but I gave her another chance and now I know my mom has been right from the start” 

“I still feel bad...I know you are going to leave her but when you say your’re going to leave her it sounds like you just wanted to leave her for me, but I know that’s not the case and that no one should be with a person who just wants to be with you for free sex” I explain to him.

“You’re right, I was planning on leaving her anyway after the graduation, I guess when I didn’t respond to her she took it upon herself to do whatever the fuck she wanted and that’s her choice” he says to me. “Now I don’t have to feel guilty for kissing you when I’m with someone else”

“I guess not...I love you”

“I love you too”


	28. 28

  * **Bellamy’s P.O.V**



Octavia told Clarke about what she found out about Echo and I am not shocked whatsoever because she has done it before but it hurts to think about because she promised me she wouldn’t do it again and this is when I know my mother and sister were right the whole time I have been with her. 

(Before I found out about Echo)

After the graduation I saw Clarke hanging out with Murphy so I walked up to her and I didn't say a word, I just took her hand and led her away from everybody. I just smile at her and hold her hand for the longest time and then it hit me, she is the one I love the most in my life other than my own family and nothing could change that.

I just look into her eyes with love and passion “Clarke I know you think that I’m not going to leave Echo but I am, I leave in a few hours to go home and I’m leaving her tomorrow” I say to her.

“I just have a feeling that something will come up and you’ll end up staying with her” she says trying to hold back tears.

“Even if something did come up I would still leave her because I don’t love her...I love you”

“And I love you, it’s just I’m afraid, I can’t lose you again” 

“And you won’t lose me, I promise you that, no one is going to keep me from you, no one”

“Okay, not talking to you for almost 6 years killed me, I would pick up the phone and dial your number and almost press call but I was afraid you would just hang up so I didn’t, so instead I wrote letters a lot of letters” 

“You wrote me letters...what about”

“Everything, I even explain in detail about what Finn did to me, I say how much I love you, and I also say things about school and everything...I’ll give them to you when I move back to vancouver”she says to me.

“Okay” I say. 

“I believe you about you wanting to leave her, it's just...it’s easier said than done”

“I know but I will and you will have to give me something for not believing me”

“Oh is that so”

“Yes it is” 

“And what would I have to do for you?” she asks me while smirking.

“Well that's a surprise, Clarke you have to understand how much I love you and knowing you feel the same makes me the happiest man but knowing that one wrong move could hurt you really bad kills me everytime I think about it” I say while smiling at her.

“I do understand, and you have to understand that I love you just as much, when you told me you were in love with me, I didn’t know what to do but then I wasn’t scared anymore and I told you how I felt about you, the only thing that can hurt me the most is if you lie to me about what you are going to do because I’m trusting you and I want to be with you and if I can’t then that will kill me”

I don’t say anything and I grab her face and kiss her, she doesn’t stop me because what’s the point...as long as we don’t have sex until I leave Echo then nothing is really that bad, Echo had done worse then this. “I’m not lying to you, I promise you,” I say to her.

“You better not be”

We just sit there holding each other because I am leaving to go home in a few hours and then she gets a text and I know who it’s from.

(after I found out about Echo)

I’m holding Clarke in my arms and in this moment I wish I listened to my mother when she told me to leave Echo before we left to come here. I just can’t wait to end it with Echo and for Clarke to move back home where she belongs (with me). It’s almost time for me and my mom to leave to go back home and I don’t want to go, not unless Clarke is coming with me...I want her there and in my arms only, I don’t want to leave her here. Yeah she had O but she is not staying in the apartment tonight, I just don’t want my Princess to be alone.

* * *

***after packing everything into the truck***

“Are you sure you are going to be okay?” I ask Clarke after saying my goodbyes to O and after Clarke said her goodbye to my mom. 

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” she says.

“But you’ll be alone in your apartment tonight”

“I won’t be alone I got Murphy, he’s staying tonight because O won’t be here”

“I still don’t want to leave you”

“I know, but I still have a lot of packing to do and I have to find a place out in Vancouver and I just have so much left to do”

“Why don’t you stay with me and my mom when you first get back and then try to find a place”

“I can’t do that” she says while shaking her head.

“Yes you can” I tell her.

“Maybe, anyway you’re mom is waiting, I’ll see you soon”

I hug her and that’s when I see Murphy behind her with a pissed look on his face, I know why he hates me but I just wish he could forgive me like Clarke did. “I love you” I say in her hair.

“I love you too” she says back, she then pulls away and kisses my cheek then says “go I’ll see you soon”

I get into the truck and start to drive off and as I do I watch as Clarke and Murphy fade away in the rearview mirror.

* * *

**Clarke’s P.O.V**

“I still don’t want to leave you” Bellamy says to me right before he leaves

“I know, but I still have a lot of packing to do and I have to find a place out in Vancouver and I just have so much left to do” I tell him.

“Why don’t you stay with me and my mom when you first get back and then try to find a place”

“I can’t do that” I say while shaking her head.

“Yes you can” he says.

“Maybe, anyway you’re mom is waiting, I’ll see you soon”

We hug and I can see Aurora in the truck smiling and saying ‘I told you so’, I love her and all but her saying I told you so is a little much. “I love you” Bellamy says into my hair.

“I love you too” I say back, I then pull away and kiss his cheek then I tell him “go, I’ll see you soon”

With that he gets into his truck and starts leaving, I watch as he disappears into the other streets, Murphy comes up behind me and puts his hand on my shoulder and that when I start crying. 

Murphy then leads me inside and when we are he pulls me into a hug and let me cry into his shoulder, I didn’t want Bellamy to leave and once he did everything hit me all at once, there’s a chance he will never leave her for himself. He says he is leaving her for himself but I know part of it is for me and I have told him not to leave her just for me, I just think that I made the biggest fool of myself.

“What’s wrong?” Murphy asks when I finally calm down.

“I’m scared,” I say to him.

“What are you scared of?”

“That I made the biggest mistake of my life by tell Bellamy how I feel about him”

“Why would that be a mistake”

“He says he is going to leave Echo for himself but I have a feeling that something is going to go wrong and I’ll just get my heart broken once again and if I didn’t tell him I wouldn’t be afraid of that, but because I did tell him I’m terrified” I explain to Murphy.

“Hey it’s going to be okay, I might hate him for hurting you the first time but I can tell that you two are meant to be together” he says to me with a smile on his face. 

“Really?”

“Yeah, you have never been happier since you started talking to him again”

“In what way?”

“You're smiling more, you're laughing more, and you are not as sad as you were before he came knocking at your door...and having him around you makes you so happy that I couldn’t imagine anything better than to have him around you to see that smile on your face. I don’t know why you are so happy around him but you are and I noticed when you stopped talking to him you became more depressed and I hated seeing you like that”

“He makes me happy, it doesn’t matter what he has done or will do, he will always make me happy and I can not explain why that is because I don’t even know why but whatever it is I will always choose him and sometimes I wish I wouldn’t but I have no control over it”

“Because you’re meant to be together” Murphy says to me.

“You really think so?” I asked him

“Yes 100%”


	29. 29

  * **Bellamy’s P.O.V**



Me and my mother are in the car driving home and I knew my mom wanted to ask me questions about what happened with me and Clarke and I’m not surprised whatsoever. “Mom if you want to ask just ask” I say to her.

“What happened?” she asks.

“Well after I talked to you and O and she talked to Murphy and Lincoln I went to her room and asked her if she thought it was crazy what you and Octavia were saying to me then she asked me if I thought if it was that Lincoln told it to her. Then she asked me if I was in love with her so I just told her the truth, she couldn’t believe it and when she said that she loved me back that’s when I couldn’t believe it. We spent the last day and a half just being with each other and soon she will be coming home and I can’t wait for it” 

“So you are the one who told her you loved her first...am I right?” 

“Yes because she asked me and I said ‘if I’m being honest then yes I am in love with you’ and her eyes went wide when I did”

“You really do still love her don’t you?”

“Of course I do, she is the love of my life and you were right I should have never started dating Echo” I explain to my mother.

“I told you,” she says.

“You don’t have to say I told you so”

“Yes I do”

“Anyway, I want everything with her”

“Like what?”

“I want to live with her, I want to marry her, I want a family with her, and I want to grow old with her and only her” 

“Wow you’re in deep just like I was with your father before he left”

I drive for 3 hour until we get home, I get home and go to my room and nothing is on my mind other than the love of my life who I want to spend the rest of my life with. She is always in my head and I can never get her out no matter how much I try.

Knowing that she is coming home soon makes me happy but I am afraid that once she is here Echo will try something because I am not going to stay with her for 2 reasons: 1) she is not the one I love, and 2) Echo cheats on me all the time and I get tired of it. I love Clarke so much that if I’m not with her then it hurts and I am tired of hurting so I need to be with her and only her.

* * *

**Clarke’s P.O.V**

Ever since Bellamy left I have been only thinking of him and I want to be with him, I love him so much and I want him right here and right now. I start packing a little bit because I want to move as soon as I can to be with the love of my life, he is everything to me, and when I everything I mean everything, he is all I need. I just want to feel his arms around me again and I know I will be in his arms soon but I want them now, I want him.

I know Murphy doesn’t like Bellamy very much since we started being friends back in high school and I know he doesn’t like him even more now since he hurt me when he stopped talking to me but I forgave Bellamy for that because it was a complete misunderstanding. 

Murphy is sitting in the living room as I am packing a little and I know he is watching me, I love my brother and all but it’s a little creepy when you find him just watching you pack. I know what he is most likely thinking ‘you shouldn’t stay with him it’s not a good idea’ but I don’t care what he thinks I should do, Bellamy offered for me to stay with him until I find a place to live and he wouldn’t let me say no so that is what I am going to do. 

After about an hour and a half of packing I choose to go to bed and try not to worry about what will happen with Bellamy and Echo, Murphy sees me get ready for bed and so he does the same and when we make eye contact he smiles at me and I smile back. I just can’t wait to be in Bellamy’s arms again.

* * *

***Next day***

The next morning I get up and check my phone, I have 3 text messages and 1 voicemail. I listen to the voicemail and it was from Joe (my ex fiancée) I press play and listen to what it says.

_ “Hey Clarke it’s Joe, I know how we left things was not the way you wanted and I'm sorry, just finding out that the woman I fell in love with doesn’t love me back hurts. I know I should have stayed and talked to you about it and I’m sorry I didn’t. I know it’s late but I just need to talk to you about everything and hopefully we can come up with something, I still love you and I want to be with you and if that means we move to Vancouver then so be it...I just want to be with you and we don’t have to get married right now we can wait. Just let me know when you are able to talk with me and hopefully for my sake you take me back and we can start fresh” _

Oh my god, did I just hear him right, he still loves me and wants to be with me and if that means moving to vancouver then so be it. What the hell just happened, but the thing is that I don’t love him, I love Bellamy and only Bellamy. I know it’s painful to think that someone you love is in love with someone else but at least I told him now then later, he knows I don’t love him yet he still wants to be with me, what the hell is wrong with this man.

I then look at the texts I got, One from Bellamy, one from O, and one from an unknown number.

_ Bell- Good morning princess, I hope packing is going okay and I hope you didn’t miss me too much last night. I going to talk to Echo so I’ll talk to you later love you _

I smile at the text but then move on to O’s:

_ O- hey I’ll be home around 11 to help pack, hope you had a good night love ya _

I smile and shake my head then I read the unknown number.

_ Unknown- you listen to these words very carefully, I know that Bellamy went to you 2 weeks ago and I know you love him but stay away from him he is mine, you have no right to him whatsoever and if you think you can go around stealing whomever you want, you’re wrong. Bellamy is mine and always will be mine so stay the fuck away from him and if you don’t then you won’t like what I will do. XOXO _

What the fuck...who the fuck sent me this, oh wait a fucking minute, the only person who puts XOXO after a threat is Echo and they are talking about Bellamy but how the hell did she get my number, I don’t care what she wants she is not going to get it and she does not scare me. So I text her back.

_ Me- you really think you can scare me with those words, well you don’t. Bellamy isn’t yours he isn’t anybodys so yeah, and I won’t stay the fuck away from him because you can’t tell me what the fuck to do. I don’t go around stealing whomever I want unlike you so if you want to go fuck around and rip apart peoples marriges then go for it but don’t put Bellamy through that, if you don’t love him let him go. Don’t be the Bitch I know you are.  _

After I sent that I went into the kitchen and made some food for me and Murphy, after it was done I brought it to Murphy. When I went into the room he was in he was still passed out so I woke him and gave him his food. “What’s wrong?” he asks me.

“I got a text this morning,” I say to him.

“From whom”

“At first I didn’t know but now I do, it was from Echo”

“How the hell did she get your phone number”

“I don’t know”

“What did she say?” Murphy asked. I handed him my phone for him to read the text she sent me and I sent her his eyes widened and then he started to laugh. You can’t be serious she sent you this?” he asks while still laughing.

“Yep did you see what I sent to her back?” I asked him.

“Yeah and now I can say I thought you well”

* * *

**Writer’s P.O.V**

Bellamy woke up that morning and got dressed, he was meeting Echo for breakfast so they could talk about their relationship. Echo arrived at his house and waited for him in the living room, she noticed Clarkes phone number on the coffee table so she took it and was going to send her a message, Bellamy came out and they left to go to the diner. 

When they got to the diner Bellamy quickly texted Clarke that he was talking to Echo and that he will talk to her later and that he loved her. Bellamy then got up and went to the restroom as Echo got out her phone and texted Clarke what she was thinking.

_ Echo- you listen to these words very carefully, I know that Bellamy went to you 2 weeks ago and I know you love him but stay away from him he is mine, you have no right to him whatsoever and if you think you can go around stealing whomever you want, you’re wrong. Bellamy is mine and always will be mine so stay the fuck away from him and if you don’t then you won’t like what I will do. XOXO _

She then puts her phone up and waits for Bellamy to return, she wasn’t about to let Clarke fucking Griffin take her sex machine away. Bellamy returns and they order food then he looks at her and she smiles.

“Echo, we need to talk about us,” Bellamy says to her.

“What about?” she asks acting like she knows nothing.

“I found out you cheated on me when I was out of town”

She was not expecting him to say that, she didn’t understand how he found out in the first place but she acted as if she doesn’t know what he is talking about. “I don’t know what you’re talking about”

“Yes you do, you promised me you would cheat on me again and you did”

“How did you find out in the first place?” Echo asks as she stops playing dumb.

“I’m not stupid plus my sister found out and told me” he says looking into her eyes with no emotion.

“I’m not the only one who cheated though”

“What are you talking about, I didn’t cheat on you”

“Oh really so you going to Seattle a week early just to see Clarke was simply platonic”

“I didn’t go to see Clarke, I went to see my sister who happens to live with Clarke, me and Clarke made up and are on good terms now, and even if something did happen between me and Clarke I didn’t sleep with her like you did with the man from the bar you were at” Bellamy says getting a bit angry.

“So something did happen between you and Clarke?” she asks and just then she gets a text back from Clarke.

“Who is that?”

“No one important”

Just then Bellamy takes her phone and sees that Echo texted Clarke to stay away from him and that he was hers, then he read what Clarke said back: 

_ Clarke- you really think you can scare me with those words, well you don’t. Bellamy isn’t yours he isn’t anybodys so yeah, and I won’t stay the fuck away from him because you can’t tell me what the fuck to do. I don’t go around stealing whomever I want unlike you so if you want to go fuck around and rip apart peoples marriges then go for it but don’t put Bellamy through that, if you don’t love him let him go. Don’t be the Bitch I know you are.  _

“Why did you text her?” Bellamy asks after he laughs at what Clarke said to Echo.

“Because she is trying to take you away from me” Echo says thinking Bellamy will believe her.

“No she's not and we are done, before I found out you cheated on me again I was going to say sorry to you about kissing Clarke but I am not sorry for doing that, so I’ll tell you one more time we are over” Bellamy says as he gets up and walks out of the diner he then calls an uber and goes home.

Bellamy gets home and calls Clarke, she picks up right away.

* * *

**Phone call (C- Clarke, B- Bellamy):**

C-hello?

B-hey, I can’t believe what you said to Echo.

C-you know about that

B-yeah she checked her phone when we were talking and I saw it was you so I took her phone and read it

C-wow, so what happened?

B-well before I saw her phone I told her I knew she cheated on me and she tried to act dumb about it but then she saw I wasn’t buying it and asked how I found out. I told her I found out because I wasn’t stupid and O found out and told me, she then goes on to say that I have no right to be mad because I cheated on her with you. I had no idea what she was talking about at first then she told me she knew I went to Seattle to see you a week before I was meant to leave and asked me if I believed that she would think it was simply platonic. I told her I didn’t go to see you. I went to see my sister who happens to live with you and that we are on good terms now, then I said even if something did happen between me and you I didn’t sleep with you unlike her who slept with the man from the bar she was at. Then she says and I quote ‘so something did happen between you and Clarke?’ That's when she looked at her phone and I asked who it was she said no one was important and so I took it and looked at it.

C-wow, what happened after that

B- I asked her why she texted you and she said because you were trying to take me away from her

C- of course she said that because she thinks that everything she touches belongs to her.

B- so I told her off and said that you were not and that she needs to find out whats wrong with her and fix it as soon as possible.

C- well at least you kept your promise

B- I told you I would

C- I know, anyway I have to go, but I love you.

B- okay I love you too.

* * *

**End of call**

After the phone call Clarke went back to packing and stuff and Bellamy went to tell his mom what he told Clarke on the phone. They love each other so much that they are willing to do anything just to be together and if that is not true love then what is, nothing can compare to what they feel for each other and if they tried they would fail. Hopefully Clarke and Bellamy can finally be happy with each other instead of being lost and sad without each other.


	30. 30

** Clarke’s P.O.V **

  
After Bellamy called me I went back to packing and dancing around my room like a 5 year old. I love listening to music while doing things. It just helps me focus. I love Bellamy so much and I can't believe her actually broke up with her like that, he was right, he was going to end it and he did. Octavia is packing up her room as well but I know she is probably having Lincoln do all of the work because she is a lazy son of a bitch. Lincoln is not coming with us at first he is going to stay with the job he has now for another year then he will come out as soon as he is able to, Octavia doesn’t want him to stay but there isn’t a job that he does until next year so he has convinced her to go back to our hometown until he is able to come out there and live with her.

I just can’t wait until I am in Bellamy’s arms and be able to have him be all mine and for him to say that he will never let me go, he says that now well he said that before he went home and for once in my life I believed it. I don’t want him to let me go, I want him to hold on tight and no matter what always be here with me, just like I am going to be for him, he is my everything now but there was something still in the way...Joe.

I still haven’t called him back and I know I should but I feel horrible and I don’t want to talk to him, yeah I hurt him by saying I loved him when I didn’t but he still wants to be with me and I can’t do that, I will never love anyone as much as I love Bellamy Blake, no matter how hard I try. Joe is most likely going to make this harder than it has to be but I can’t be with someone I don’t love. I can’t do that and yeah he is willing to move to Vancouver and he is willing to wait to get married but he is not the one I want to marry. If I am to marry anyone I want it to be Bellamy and only him, yeah Joe is a good guy for the most part but he is not the one for me at all and I know that will crush him but it’s the truth and I won’t change my mind.

I then hear a knock at my door but Octavia gets to it before me and then I hear her squeal. “What’s going on” I ask as I enter the living room. Then I saw him, the man I said goodbye to yesterday. “Bellamy what are you doing here?” I ask him.

“I came to help you guys pack, and I know I just left yesterday but I can’t sit at home being helpless” he says.

“What about your job?”

“I don’t have work until next week so…” He then comes up to me and pulls me into a hug, we just sit there hugging for a while and I know O left like 2 minutes into the hug, he then pulls away and pulls me into a sweet and passionate kiss which I return quickly. “I’ve missed you” he says.

“You saw me yesterday” 

“I know, but I still missed you”

“I missed you too”

“At least now we can finally be together without anyone being in the way”

“Well...not entirely” I say looking away from him.

“What do you mean?” he asks worried.

“Joe called me last night and I missed the call...he still wants to be with me and I still haven’t called him back yet”

“After everything he still wants to be with you, after you told him you didn’t love him at all?”

“Yeah”

“Wow...can I hear the message”

“Yeah” I play the message- “Hey Clarke it’s Joe, I know how we left things was not the way you wanted and I'm sorry, just finding out that the woman I fell in love with doesn’t love me back hurts. I know I should have stayed and talked to you about it and I’m sorry I didn’t. I know it’s late but I just need to talk to you about everything and hopefully we can come up with something, I still love you and I want to be with you and if that means we move to Vancouver then so be it...I just want to be with you and we don’t have to get married right now we can wait. Just let me know when you are able to talk with me and hopefully for my sake you take me back and we can start fresh”

“Haha, wow he hopeless”

“It’s not funny”

“Yes it is”

“You’re so mean, but I love you anyway”

“I love you too”

“Can you be in the room when I call him please?” I asked him.

“Of course princess”

* * *

** Phone call with Joe (call is on speaker so Bellamy can hear it) **

**J-** Hello?

 **C-** hey, I got your message

 **J-** I know how we left things...well I left things and I know you don’t love me the way I love you but I want to be with you

 **C-** Joe we didn’t only break up because of that, it’s the fact that I don’t want to be with you

 **J-** why, we were so good together

 **C-** no Joe, you think I was happy...I wasn’t, you wanna know why...because I wasn’t with the man I loved

 **J-** who, who do you love Clarke?

 **C-** my best friend

 **J-** Octavia?

 **C-** no her brother, Joe we would have never worked anyway, no matter how much you wanted it to, we have nothing in common and there is the fact that I never loved you the way you loved me, I thought I could learn to love you that way but the truth is that you can’t learn to love somebody, you can trick yourself to believe you do but you can’t really learn to love somebody like that

 **J-** please don’t do this Clarke

 **C-** It’s already done

 **J-** no Clarke we can make this work

 **C-** no we can’t 

**J-** I can’t live without you

 **C-** yes you can, you just think you can’t but you can, one day you will find a girl who will love you just as much as you love them and you’ll get your happy ending, I’m just not that girl

 **J-** you can be that girl

 **C-** no Joe get it though your head that we are over and I am never going to be that girl for you, I’m going to go now...goodbye

** End of call **

* * *

“You okay?” Bellamy asks me when I set my phone down.

“Yeah, I just feel bad,” I say back.

“Don’t, if he can’t understand that you don’t love him and that you don’t want to be with him then that’s his own damn fucking problem”

“You’re right, I love you”

“I love you more”

“I love you most”

* * *

** Next day **

When I woke up Bellamy wasn’t next to me at all and when I put my hand on the side of the bed where Bellamy was, it was ice cold. That means Bellamy hasn’t been in bed for hours and it’s only 8 in the morning, why was he not in bed and why hasn’t he been in bed for hours...what is going on?

I go into the living room and I see Bellamy sitting on the couch staring out into space, I just walk up to him and put my arms around him, he was surprised at first but then he puts his arms around me as well and we just sit there like that for I don’t know how long. I love him so much that not having him in my arms hurts and I don’t want to be apart from him ever.

“When I woke up you weren’t there and when my hand hit the side you were on it was ice cold, why haven’t you been in bed?” I asked him.

“I love you Clarke, and I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you woke up, I wasn’t there because when you fell asleep and you looked so peaceful and I couldn’t fall asleep so I went to the living room and thought about all the memories I have of us and it got me thinking…” He says.

“Thinking of what”

“Why the hell I didn’t fight for you, why the hell I didn’t stay in contact with you, and why the hell I didn’t try harder, because if I did there could have been a chance we would be together or even married by now, I get that we’re starting something new but I was just thinking what if I tried harder, you know”

“I get that, maybe if I took a leap of faith that you wouldn’t hurt me after what Finn did then yeah we probably would be married by now and I’m sorry about that, but then again we were in high school and anything could have happened and yeah I regret not keeping in touch but think about us now...we are trying and hopefully we can make this work because I have been in love with you for a very long time”

“I love you too, and I understand why you couldn’t be with me after what happened with Finn...I now fully understand why and you never have to apologize for that”

He pulls me to his chest and I just let him hold me, I can’t believe after all that we have been through we finally get to be together, he is everything to me and if something happened I know I will be heartbroken and I most likely would never love a man as much as I do him. We get up and he makes breakfast and then O and Lincoln come out of her bedroom and by the time that happens the food is done and we all gather to eat.

After we all eat we go to our rooms, Lincoln with O and Bellamy with me and we finish packing and by the time we are done it’s only 3 in the afternoon. Bellamy was so proud of himself that we got it done but he forgot about the living room, dining room, and kitchen that we still have to do, he said that we were going to get this done today and nothing is going to stop it from happening. I personally don’t think that it’s going to happen, we might finish the living room but nothing else because Octavia is going to Lincoln’s for a date night. 

“So you’re telling me that she is not going to help us with the rest of the packing?” Bellamy asks me.

“Yeah because he isn’t going to be in Vancouver until next year and they want to spend as much time together as possible until we leave” I say to him.

“Why can’t they spend time while helping us pack”

“Just let them be”

“I hate saying this but maybe she should just stay here until Lincoln can come out and stay”

“I told her that not too long ago but she said that she doesn’t want to do that because of you”

“I’ll be okay as long as I have one of you”

“Then go tell her that”


	31. 31

**Bellamy’s P.O.V**

Clarke told me to go tell O that she can stay here with her boyfriend until he can come out to Vancouver to live with the rest of us, I don’t want her to stay here but I think it’s the best choice and she would be happier that way. 

“Hey big brother, what’s going on?” she asks me.

“Nothing, but I think you should stay here with Lincoln just until he can come to Vancouver with you” I say to her.

“I was thinking about it but you have been wanting me to come home for so long and I know you want me to be happy and staying would make me really happy but I also want to make you happy”

“O, as long as I have you or Clarke it doesn’t matter, I know you love Lincoln and him you, and I know how you are...you won’t be happy if you come home now, you won't be happy until he is home with you and I would hate to see you that way”

“So you’re saying that as long as Clarke comes home with you, you are okay with me staying?” 

“Yeah, I won’t be extremely happy about it but I know you will and that’s all I want, to see you happy” I say to her.

“You sure you’re okay with me staying?” she asks again to make sure.

“Yes, I’m okay with it”

“Okay, we’ll help you with the rest of the house then”

“Okay”

I walked away from O and went back to Clarke and she knows that O is going to stay and that yeah I might not be the happiest person about it but I’m okay with it because it makes my sister happy. When I first met Clarke I didn’t realize how much I was going to love her, now if anything happens with either us or her I know I could never love anyone as much as I love her. She makes me happy and my sister says that’s all she has ever wanted for me and she knows I haven’t been actually truly happy since I first kissed Clarke, until now.

“What are you thinking about?” Clarke asks me.

“Nothin’, how did I get so lucky?” I ask her.

“What are you talking about”

“How did I get so lucky to have you?”

“I’m the lucky one Bell”

“No I am”

“Nope, I’m the lucky one”

“We can argue about this all day but I am the lucky one”

“You both are lucky now shut up” Octavia yells from the other room.

We laugh and continue to pack up the living room as O and Lincoln talk and pack up the kitchen, I look at Clarke and she is so beautiful and I can’t believe that I finally get a chance with the best most incredible woman I have ever met. “What?” she asks.

“Do you know how beautiful you are?” I asked her.

“I’m not that beautiful but thank you”

“You are and I will tell you every hour or half hour until you believe it, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen other then my mother and sister”

“Thank you Bell, and you’re the most handsome man I have ever seen other then my dad, well when he was alive”

When she said that all I did was walk over to her and pulled her into a hug, I know she misses her dad and her sister and all I want to do is be there for her. “It’s okay, I’m here” I say to her. She just nods and keeps her arms around me, holding me close for as long as she can.

“I know and I’m glad,” she says.

We pull apart and continue to pack the rest of the apartment, I can’t wait until I have Clarke in my arms and having her just be with me in the same city, her coming back to Vancouver makes me the happiest person. When she left to go to college I was upset because I didn’t know when I was going to see her again and I was upset because I was still in love with her and I thought she hated me and I didn’t want her to leave or be with anyone one other than me. But that was then and this is now and all I want is for her to be able to come home to me and for me to hold her and for us to just be happy with just us.

* * *

** *later* ** ** **

We finished packing up the apartment and O starts to take some of her boxes to Lincoln’s apartment, since we got this done so quick that means Clarke can move tomorrow if she wants to and I really hope she does because I have to work in a couple of days. Octavia leaves for the night and it’s just me and Clarke left, we sit on the couch and she picks what she wants to watch, of course she picks ‘Dear John’ but I don’t care.

I’m looking at her and after a while she notices and says “what?”

“Are you coming back with me tomorrow or what’s happening with that?” I asked her.

“I wasn’t thinking about that, is that why you wanted to get this done today...because you have to leave tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I would love for you to come back with me”

“I have to talk to Murphy about it, tomorrow morning I will talk to him about it okay”

“Okay, I love you”

“I love you too”

I pull her close to me and we cuddle as ‘Dear John’ plays, I don’t understand why she loves this movie so much but whenever she watches it she seems happier than ever before. She is everything to me and if that means I have to watch ‘Dear John’ again and again for the rest of my life then so be it, I don’t care as long as I have her I’m perfectly fine. I don’t pay attention to the movie whatsoever because I am too busy watching Clarke watch the movie, when she laughs it warms my heart, and when she cries I notice that she holds onto my arm for dear life.

“Why do you hold on to me like this when it’s a sad part?” I asked her.

“Because him being in the army and you being a police officer is not that much different and it reminds me of you, when he gets hurt...I’m just scared that once I have you, you will be taken from me” she says.

“You don’t have to worry about that Clarke, I’m not going to leave you not when I just got you”

“You don’t know that, with your job you could die tomorrow and I’m just scared that’s going to happen”

“You don’t have to worry about that though, okay?”

“Okay”

We finish watching the movie and she is half asleep in my arms but I don’t care, she looks so beautiful and I don’t want to move her but I know I have to. “Princess you awake?” I ask her.

“Sadly yes...carry me to bed” she says.

“Okay”

So I do what she asks and I pick her up and carry her to the bedroom, when we get in the bedroom I lay her down and cover her up, then I get into bed with her on the other side of the bed. She turns on her side that faces me and then pulls me closer to her and gets as close to me as possible then falls asleep. Man do I love this woman.


	32. 32

** Clarke’s P.O.V *the next day* **

  
I wake up with Bellamy holding me and all I can do is smile because I can finally have what I’ve wanted for years and I am finally happy. I love him so much and now I get to be with him and be back in my hometown, I get up out of bed without waking Bellamy and I make my way down to the kitchen then I see Murphy enter the apartment. “Hey you said you wanted to talk” he says.

“Yeah, Bellamy is here and he is leaving today...and…” I start to say.

“And what?”

“He wants me to go with him, I have everything packed and I was going to wait for you until he asked me to come with him and I want to go with him...I just wanted to talk to you first”

“Go, I’ll be okay, it’s only a couple days early and if you have everything packed then you and Octavia should be fine”

“About that...O’s not coming”

“What do you mean O’s not coming, she’s moving there with us”

“Yeah she’s moving there, but not until next year” I say hoping he doesn’t get mad.

“Why next year?” he asked calmly, which surprised me.

“She’s staying until Lincoln can come next year, if you don’t want me to then I won’t but I want to go”

“Okay go, if you really want to go then go, I’ll see you in a couple days then we can find a place to stay”

“About that...Bellamy asked me to move in with him”

“What did you say to him?”

“I said yes, I love him and I want to live with him and I know you wanted me to live with you but…” I start to say.

“It’s okay, if you’re sure about this and him then I’m okay with it, but if you ever need to move in with me because something happened then I will always be here, okay?”

“Thank you big brother”

I go back into my room and I see Bellamy is still asleep and he looks so peaceful but I know I have to wake him up sadly. I walk up to him and I just look at him for a minute knowing that I would have to wake this beautiful angle from his slumber, just looking at him makes me want him and do everything with him. I got on my side of the bed and lay down facing Bellamy, he had no worry on his face whatsoever, and I loved it so much.

“Bell, it’s time to get up” I say softly to him, he doesn’t move so I say “Bellamy, come on, we have to leave soon” still nothing so I kiss him.

“Good morning to you too,” he says.

“Hey, we have to leave soon”

“We? You’re coming with me?”

“Yeah, and Murphy is okay with me moving in with you as well”

“Good, I love you so much”

“I love you too, let’s start getting my stuff into your truck”

We started to put boxes in the truck and every once in a while I would see him staring at me and it made me blush. He is so sweet and I know that no matter what I do he will be here for me, why can’t I see anything but a happy ending with him, normally I would end up thinking about what could go wrong in the relationship but I can’t think that with him. 

Out of nowhere he pulls me by my waist and makes me face him, he looks into my eyes and all I see is love, he just looks at me and then he pulls me into a kiss. It was a slow and passionate kiss then it became a bit hungry but at the same time still full of passion and love, I didn’t know what to do at first other then kiss him back with just as much love, hunger, and passion as he gave me. He kissed me out of nowhere and I’m glad he did because I have wanted to kiss him like this for a long time and now I am and I couldn’t be happier.

“What was that for?” I asked him.

“Because” is all he says.

“Because why?”

“Because I can, and I wanted to. You’re my girlfriend and if I want to kiss you the way I just did then I will”

“I’m not complaining but I was just wondering what it was for”

“It’s for you being the best girlfriend in the world”

“We’ve only been dating for not very long. How do you know I’m the best?” I asked him while playing with his hand. 

“I just know,” he says as he pulls me into another kiss. We continued to put boxes into his truck and after an hour we got all of my boxes in the truck and ready to go , I can’t believe that I am moving in with Bellamy and I can finally be happy.


	33. 33

** Bellamy's P.O.V **

Clarke and I finally got all of the boxes into my truck and now she is spending as much time with Murphy before he hit the road to go home, I know soon after we get back to vancouver we are going to look for a place together because right now I live with my mom because she asked me to. She will understand why I am moving out and going to move in with Clarke somewhere else, yeah she will say we can live there but I want to start fresh with Clarke and that means find a place for us together.

I love my mom but I want new memories and getting a place together will do that for me and her, the house that me and my mom live in is the same house Clarke used to come over to all the time and the same house I kissed her in before and where she fell asleep during a movie one night. There are so many memories of me and Clarke in that house before we stopped talking and before high school ended that it's crazy. After me and Clarke stopped talking she wouldn't spend the night unless I wasn't home and she would only come over for like an hour or two before she made up something just to leave.

A couple hours go by and it was almost time to leave to go back home and the thought of me going back home with Clarke made me really happy, I can't believe that I get to say that I get to go home with Clarke Princess Griffin. O and Murphy are at the apartment to say goodbye and Lincoln was here to, you can see that Clarke doesn't want to go but at the same time she does, Clarke and I want O to come with us but we know that her and Lincoln will be coming home in a year and Murphy will be coming in a few days. "Are you sure you want to go?" Murphy asked Clarke wanted it to be for her to stay here for a few more days.

"Yes I'm sure, I'll see you in a couple days and I'll be just fine because I have Bellamy with me" she says to him with a smile.

Octavia came over to me and she knew that I wanted her to come with us and not wait another year before we are in the same town again. "I know you want me to go but I don't want to leave Lincoln behind" she says to me.

"I know, that's why I'm okay with you staying" I say to her.

"But you don't want me to"

"Of course I don't want you too but I will be okay because I will have Clarke with me and I know you are going to come home as soon as you can with Lincoln and I will be counting down the days until that happens also we will talk ever week or day or whenever we have time like we have been doing for the last 4 years"

"You sure you are okay with this"

"Yes, I want you to be happy"

"I am thank you, I love you big brother"

"I love you too O,"

* * *

** Clarke's P.O.V **

Bellamy and I were about to leave to go to his...our home, Octavia goes over to Bellamy to say goodbye and Murphy comes over to me. "I'm going to miss you cupcake," Murphy says. Cupcake was what Murphy used to call me when we were younger because we would always make them and I would get it everywhere so he started calling me cupcake.

"Oh John, I'll miss you too but I'll see you in a couple days" I say to him.

"You know I hate it when you call me that, but at the moment I don't care I just want you to be sure about going with him and moving in with him this fast"

"I am sure, I am so happy with with him and I have known him for a long time, yeah we stopped talking before but he hasn't changed much and I love him and I always have, he is the one for me and I don't want to go another day without living with him"

"Only if you're 100% sure that you want to do this"

"I am, I love you so much Murphy, you have been there when others were not and I couldn't wish for a better brother because of it"

"And you as a sister, I love you more cupcake"

"I'll see you in a couple days"

"Okay"

After we all said our goodbye to everyone, we got into the truck and he started driving, I can't believe I'm going home with Bellamy RebelKing Blake, I never thought this would happen but I am go fucking glad it did because right now I would be planning a wedding that I don't want unless the groom is Bellamy. Yeah I know, me wanting to marry Bellamy Blake but it's true I will not plan a wedding unless it's for someone else or if my groom is Bellamy.

2 hours go by and we are almost back at the house, I can't believe that I slept the whole trip back to my hometown, I normally don't do that but it's whatever. "Hey sleepyhead, how was your nap?" Bellamy asks me when he notices I'm awake.

"Good, how is the drive?" I ask him in return.

"Better then it was the last time because you're with me"

"But I slept the whole time"

"Every once in a while I would look over at you and you looked so peaceful and I'm just glad that I get to finally call you MY Princess"

"I'm glad I get to call you MY rebleking"

"We're almost home and my mom is so happy that you are staying," he says.

"I'm happy too," I say to him.

About an hour or so later we arrive in the driveway of the Blake's old home and I can not believe I'm going to be staying here until I find a place of my own. "Before we go in I want to ask you something," Bellamy says before I get out of the truck.

"What is it?" I ask him.

"I think that we should look for a place of our own soon, don't get me wrong I love living with my mom but I want to start fresh with you and I think finding a place together that we can call our home is exactly what we need, would you be okay with that"

"Oh my god yes, I know living here until we find a place will give me flashbacks but when I think about it I don't think I can live in this house forever because of all the memories even though we will make new ones I think we should make a life in our own place together"

"I agree, now are you ready to go inside"

"Yes" we grab only the boxes I really need and then tomorrow we are going to take the rest of them to storage until we find a place to live.

We walk into the house and...


	34. 34

** Bellamy's P.O.V ** **  
**

As Clarke and I enter the house my mother is in the living room facing the door, she has the biggest smile on her face and as soon as we walk into the living room she attacks Clarke with a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Clarke Dear I am so glad you came back and I am so happy you'll be staying with us for as long as you need" my mother says to her.

"I'm glad too, I've missed this place and I thought it was time to come home...and be with the man I love" Clarke says then she looks at me when she says the last part.

"So you two are together now?" my mother asks while looking at me.

"Yes mom, now can we get settled and get ready for dinner?" I ask my mother.

"Yes of course, I'm sorry, go...dinner will be ready shortly"

Clarke and I go to the bedroom I have always had and we get her settled, she has the biggest smile on her face and it makes me happy to know that she is happy. I can't help but look at her as she puts away her clothes in the dresser, when she notices that I am watching her she pretends not to notice but at the same time she smiles. She makes me so happy and I wish that I had listened to my mom when she told me not to stop talking to Clarke aka MY PRINCESS. Yeah she is my princess and no one will ever take her away from me ever, I would never let them take her away from me.

"You know I love you, right?" I asked Clarke when she sat on my lap.

"Yes, and I love you too, you know the first thing I remembered when we enter this room was the night I couldn't sleep and neither could you so you grabbed a whole bunch of junk food and dragged me in here, we watched a movie and I fell asleep in the middle of it, then after it was over you fell asleep holding me and then Octavia asked us about the next morning" she says to me.

"Yeah I remember that, I loved holding you like that and I still do, you're so small that you fit perfectly in my arms"

"I love it when you hold me like that as well, and I know that I am a lot smaller than you but I think it makes us fit perfectly together"

"Come here"

I pull her to my chest and she puts her arms around my neck and I just hold her in my arms, knowing she is mine and that she wants to be with me makes me one of the happiest people in the world and I love her so much. She leans back and looks me in the eyes and I know she is thinking something, I smile at her and ask "what are you thinking about?"

"Us, we can finally be happy but it's just hard to believe, can I ask you something?" she asks.

"Yeah, anything"

"Do you know if my mother still lives in town?"

"Yeah she does, well I think so, why?"

"I was just wondering"

I pulled her lips to mine and the kiss was sweet and passionate, yet a bit hungry. She pulls back and smiles, she climbs on top of me and looks me right into the eyes and all I see in her eyes is love, she leans down and puts her lips on mine and I couldn't be happier. Nothing could ruin this moment, nothing, she is starting to move her hips and oh my god I don't know how long I can wait. As I said nothing can ruin this until "honey dinner is ready!" my mom yells.

"Son of a bitch" I cuse under my breath.

"Come on, let's go eat then we can finish what we started" she says as she gets off of me.

"No, no, no, come back"

"Come on big baby"

We go into the dining room and I sit down next to Clarke, my mom sits across from me. "So how did this all happen?" she asks us.

"Um, well that's a long story, it wasn't long after we made up that we admitted to each other that we love each other" Clarke says.

"Tell me, I want to know"

* * *

** Flashback: Clarke's P.O.V **

_Later...I was sitting on my bed when I heard a knock on my door, I got up and I saw Bellamy standing outside of my bedroom door. "Hey, come on in," I tell him._

_"We need to talk...my sister and mother would like me to believe that you're in love with me, it's crazy right?" he says._

_"Lincoln would like me to believe that you were in love with me...I believe that you might have feelings but you're not in love with me are you?"_

_"umm...I'm going to be truthful with you, yes I am in love with you and I know I shouldn't be because I'm in a relationship but when I saw you 2 weeks ago I knew I was still in love with you"_

_"You love me?"_

_"Yes isn't that what I just said"_

_"Why?"_

_"I don't need a reason to love you," he says._

_"Do you think it's crazy that your mom and sister think that I'm in love with you too?" I ask him, scared to know the truth._

_"To be honest I don't know, I couldn't think that a perfect girl like you could ever love someone like me...but do you love me?"_

_"Of course I love you, I have always loved you and you now know why I wasn't ready to be with anyone after what happened between me and Finn...I fell in love with you within a week of knowing you"_

_"You love me?"_

_"Yes very much, but your with someone and I might hate her but I know how it feels to be cheated on and it's not a good feeling, I want to be with you but I can't be the other woman"_

_He nods and we decide to watch a movie and I pick 'The Notebook' and he holds me and eventually we both fall asleep, when I wake up it's 3am and my head is on his chest and he has both arms around me, this feeling that I am feeling right now is something I never want to end. His touch and smell is overwhelming and I love it, I want to be with him and him telling me that he was in love with me last night has always been my dream since we stopped talking but one part that is wrong is that he is with that bitch._

_I wish that we had never stopped talking because maybe just maybe I would have been engaged to him instead of Joe and I would have meant to say yes and I would mean mostly everything I say to him, but sadly it didn't happen that way and I have to deal with these feelings that I have for him and having to deal with the fact that the man I love is with someone I hate and that hates me. He said that he loves me but he never said he was going to leave Echo for me and I don't want him to, I want him to leave her for himself and I really hope he does._

_"What are you thinking about?" he asks me when he sees me awake._

_"Everything" I tell him._

_"What are you doing up, it's 3am"_

_"I just woke up"_

_"What do you mean about you're thinking of everything?"_

_"I'm just thinking about like what if we never stopped talking and we told each other how we felt sooner what would have happened, I was also thinking about what I wish we could have been if nothing happened between me and Finn and if we kept talking...because after the hospital visit with your mom that's pretty much when we stopped"_

_"Why did you leave that day...after my mom talked to you alone"_

_"I left because of what me and her talked about was too much for me at the time"_

**End of Flashback**

* * *

"...and the rest is history" Clarke finishes with the story.

"Wow, that is true love right there and I knew you guys had feelings for each other the moment I met Clarke even if you didn't even know yourself" my mother says to us.

"I sure hope so because it took me forever to get her now" I say to my mother while looking at Clarke with love in my eyes.

"Me too" she says, she then kisses me on the cheek and helps my mom with the dishes.


	35. Chapter 35

**Clarke’s P.O.V**

After dinner I go to the kitchen to help Aurora with the dishes. Before I left the table I gave Bellamy a kiss on the cheek, I can see Aurora smile when I did. “So do you want a future with my son?” Aurora asks me.

“Of course I do, it used to scare me when I would think of a future with anyone but when I think of one with Bell I can’t help but smile. He makes me really happy and for once in my life I can think of the future and what I want without freaking out about it” I explain to her.

“What do you see in the future when you think of it with Bellamy?”

“I can see us living in a house with a cat and a dog, with Octavia right next door and my brother right down the street, I see us being married hopefully and I’m happy and you’re always over. I can see us having 2 or 3 kids and he will be the best father in the world, and I know this for a fact because I’ve seen how he is with O. I hope everything that I can see happens and I want it to, with everyone else I have dated over the years I could see this happiness like I do with Bell”

“Wow, you really do love him don’t you”

“Yes I do, very much”

We finish up in the kitchen and I see Bellamy sitting on the couch like he was hiding something but I’m not going to read into it, I walk over to him and sit next to him. “Hey,” I say to him.

“Hey, what did you and my mom talk about?” he asks me. (okay what is he up to?)

“Just girl stuff”

“And what is that code for?”

“Nothing”

“Whatever you say”

He then pulls me to his chest and we just sit on the couch cuddling and I know at one point Aurora was watching us but then walked away. My head is on his chest and I’m just breathing in his scent, I just can’t get enough of it. He smells like forest and a campfire and I don’t know why but he does and I love it, I love him and everything about him. I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have him in my life or if I didn’t meet him on the side of the road that one night after I was hurt, the reason I didn’t know who he was when I saw him was because when I met Aurora when O had me meet her I didn’t know his name and he thought I was a spoiled brat so I didn’t remember what he looked like. 

I am just so glad he came up to me that night to make sure I was okay and that I got home okay, he became my friend that night, then things went south and then things...went north again and I’m happy that they did. “What are you thinking about Princess?” Bellamy asks me.

“Everything that has happened from the night you found me to now” I say to him.

“What exactly are you thinking about of the night I found you”

“Just that I am so glad that you found me that night and that we developed feelings because of that, because if you didn’t find me that night I would most likely be dead”

“What do you mean by that?”

“If you didn’t find me I would have walked down by the bridge and jumped off, I was thinking of a letter to write O and Murphy”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me that?”

“I wasn’t going to tell someone I hardly knew at the time that I was going to kill myself but because of them I didn’t”

“Well that makes sense and I’m just really glad you didn’t because I love you and I don’t know what I would do without you” Bellamy says to me while he pulls me closer to him. “Now didn’t you have letters for me?” he asks.

“You remembered, yeah I do but I’m only giving you one of them tonight, and I love you too” I say to him.

* * *

**Bellamy’s P.O.V**

Clarke was going to give me the first letter she wrote me and I’m excited and scared at the same time, I don’t know what to expect from them and whatever it is she was pouring her heart out. She gets out the first letter and hands it to me, she gives me a smile then gets up and walks away.   
  


**_Letter #1_ **

_ Dear Bellamy,  _

_ I know we haven’t talked in a long time and that sucks but I hope you are doing okay, the reason why I’m writing a letter is because I’m too scared to pick up the phone and call you...I'm scared that you will hate me and never talk to me if I call. Octavia told me you are doing well at becoming a police officer and I am so proud of you, I know you will be the best one there is, O also tells me that your mom has been doing and I’m glad. The last time we talked was right around when we saw your mom in the hospital, and I’m sorry about everything. I blame myself for not trying hard enough to be ready to be with you at the time and god knows I wanted to, I really did but I just wasn’t ready and I know you probably hate me. I don’t blame you for hating me (if you do, most likely), I tried dating not too long ago again and it didn’t go well; he was a jackass.  _

_ I miss you so much and I wish that we didn’t stop talking but it’s what you wanted, right? I need you Bellamy and I wish I was brave to pick up that damn phone and dial your number and press call but I can’t. I hope you’re happy and with someone you love because I wish I was, I’m not going to tell O about this because I know she will either want me to call you or force you somehow to call me and I’m not to expect you to call me but can if you want (Clarke’s phone #). Octavia wants to set me up on a date and I don’t think that’s the best idea, yeah I’m ready to date again but having O set me up might be a bad idea.  _

_ What do you think? You probably don’t care. You’ll see this letter with my name on it and do either 1 of 4 things, 1) throw it away and never read it, 2) send it back, 3) read it and then send it back because you hate me, or lastly and the most unlikely thing you will do is read it and end up calling me or writing back and nat hating me. _

_ I wish I was with you or you were with me, anything, and I regret not trying to stay in contact and not trying hard enough to still be friends with you. I’m so sorry but it’s what you wanted. I’m sorry for writing this but it’s the only thing I can do without freaking out, I’m going to have Lincoln send this out for me because I can’t do it and he is the only person who I can have send this without him asking questions and telling O about this. _

**_With all the Love Clarke Griffin <3_ **

* * *

After reading what Clarke wrote...I’m speechless. I walk to my bedroom to find Clarke chewing on her fingernails because she is nervous. How could she think I hated her? How? 

“So…?” she asks.

“Why did you think I would hate you?” I asked her with love in my eyes.

“I don’t know I just did”

“And thinking I...I wish you had sent this to me”

“You do?”

“Of course, because I would have ended up with Echo because this was right before she asked me out”

“Really?”

“Yes, come here...I could never ever hate you and I never wanted to stop talking to you, I just thought that’s what you wanted, I thought you hated me so I never tried to contact you unless it was through O, I have always loved you and I always will, nothing could ever change that. And I wasn’t happy at this time because O left for college and so did you and thinking you hated me I just didn’t know what to do with myself”

“I love you so much Bellamy Blake, I always have and I always will”

“I love you too my Princess”

**Author's Note:**

> please leave me feed back I don't know how many are going to be on here so stay with me and I hope you enjoyed this chapter.


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